Time Will Tell
by XanthippeAlexithymia
Summary: When an impromptu rescue mission ends with a mysterious commander aboard the Enterprise it's Spock's job to keep an eye on her. As time goes on, however, her past starts to unravel, revealing some answers but often even more questions. SpockXOC. Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Captain, we have received a distress call from the Klingon planet Qo'nos," Uhura said confused, turning from her screen.

"Klingons? Why would they want help?" Jim asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knee.

"I'm not sure. They specifically requested a Starfleet ship though and currently we are the only ship out of Federation territory. The signal is really poor, I can't make much out," she said, returning her attention to her station.

"Such a call would suggest a trap, Captain," I said, turning from my scanners as Jim spun to face me, leaning back.

"So it would seem, Mr. Spock," Jim pondered. "Sulu, set a course for Qo'nos at warp four, it should only take a few minutes to get there. Lieutenant Uhura, respond to the distress call demanding more information."

"Captain, this course of action may lead us into an ambush," I said, standing from my chair and folding my hands behind my back as usual.

"If so we'll warp away, no big deal," Jim shrugged.

"I have a reply!" Uhura called.

"And?"

"The sender claims to be an escaped hostage taken by the Klingons when they're ship was badly damaged, leaving them stranded. Claims to be human and in need of immediate assistance," Uhura called out, working furiously to unscramble the code before her.

"I can't just pull someone off of Qo'nos without legitimate reasons," Jim said.

"Yes, sir, they-…they've switched over to Starfleet code, sir. It's…it's advanced too, I can't decipher it all," Uhura said, her thin fingers quickly replying. "I can't believe this, they wish for my supervisor to take over."

Jim and I shared a glance before I moved over to the communications desk, Uhura abandoning her seat to me. Quickly analyzing the code I saw the urgency in the intricate symbols. "Captain, this is a private Starfleet communication code," I said seriously.

"Private as in?" Jim asked but his words were rushed. He knew the answer to his question already.

"The code being used is meant for captain to captain messages. It is encrypted in such a way that it is incomprehensible unless received by a Starfleet ship and even then only known to the captain of said vessel," I replied, turning to face him. This situation was serious.

"How would you know the code then?" Uhura asked from beside me.

"He made it. Kirk to Scotty, report to the teleportation room immediately, you too Chekov. Sulu, upon arrival get within beam distance. Spock, I'll need you to scan the surface for whoever this is," Jim ordered quickly. Uhura reclaimed her seat as I walked briskly to my station, preparing my scanners as I sat down.

"They are under attack," Uhura called out.

"Kirk to Bones, report to teleportation room and be prepared."

"Arrival at Qo'nos in five, four, three, two," Sulu counted down until the Klingon planet appeared in view.

"Scan, Spock," Jim ordered but I had already begun.

"Signal found. One human on Qo'nos. They are surrounded by Klingons," I reported.

"I've lost the signal," Uhura declared.

"Signal still strong but on the move. Klingons in pursuit," I told Jim.

"Kirk to Scotty, beam them out. Spock, with me. Sulu, you have the conn," Jim ordered, both of us entering the turbo lift. "No captains have been reported missing."

"I am aware."

"Then who the hell is using your code?"

"I have no idea." The doors opened and we rushed to the teleportation room.

"What the hell is going on, Jim?" Bones asked from where he stood holding a case of supplies.

"Impromptu rescue mission. Where are they, Scotty?" Jim asked.

"It is taking a while to lock on to their signal, they're moving a lot," Scotty said, chasing the dot around with his finger.

"Hurry up! It is urgent that we get them off Qo'nos," Jim said, clenching his fists.

"Zhey have jumped!" Chekov exclaimed, frantically tapping on the screen before him.

"It's fine, it's just into a river," Scotty said before his face paled. "Is that…"

"A vaterfall," Chekov confirmed. "I have ze signal!"

"Beam them up now!"

"Five, four, zvee, two, one," Chekov counted down before we all looked up to see the Enterprise's newest arrival. Thousands of lights swirled before a small form appeared, thumping down on the pad along with a few gallons of water. Upon further inspection it became apparent that the form was female, torn clothes clinging to her body. From the way the soaked fabric clung to her I concluded that she was athletic and lightly muscled the same way a swimmer, runner, or even dancer may be. Long, wavy strands of dark blonde hair lay in clumps against her, shifting as she rolled over with a groan. Her gently arched brows were furrowed together in pain perhaps, a hand clutching her side. All eyes were on the mysterious woman as her lids opened, revealing two icy irises that appeared oddly familiar to me.

"Welcome aboard the Enterprise, I am Captain James T. Kirk. You are?" He asked, his tone serious though he was eying her curiously.

"Aurelia-," she wheezed before a few coughs interrupted her. "Aurelia…uh Tanner. Aurelia Tanner," she finished.

"Are you, uh, sure about that?" he asked lightly.

"Yes, my apologies, Captain, I'm a little confused right now, I hit my head on Qo'nos," she answered, still remained on her back. Dr. McCoy went to move forward but paused when Jim held up his hand.

"How did you know that private communication code? It is classified for captains only," He said.

"Jim, if she has a head injury,-," Dr. McCoy started.

"I must know this first before we give her medical aide, Bones."

"A close friend," the woman, Aurelia, started, "Two actually, taught me it in case of emergency."

"Who?" he questioned farther.

"I cannot tell you. What I can tell you, however, is that both men are completely loyal to Starfleet as am I," Aurelia said, staring straight at Jim. He held her gaze in silence for a moment before speaking.

"Spock?" he asked, his eyes staying on the woman as he gaze suddenly jumped to me. Her clear eyes stared at me with surprise before fading to a cool and collected acceptance that was then followed by curiosity.

"The woman does not appear to be lying. I believe Dr. McCoy may now aide her," I answered the captain, tearing my eyes from the wet woman to look at Jim. He nodded and dropped his hand, allowing Dr. McCoy to approach the woman.

"Keep her in the Med Bay until further notice. Everyone else, back to work," Jim ordered. We both walked to the turbo lift in silence, him speaking only once the doors shut.

"She looks familiar," Jim murmured, either to himself or both of us.

"You are acquainted with several women. It is only logical to reason that many have similar features," I told him, well aware of the joke I had made. Jim shook his head, not the slightest bit amused

"No, much more familiar than that, like I've seen her regularly but I would remember that face had I slept with her," Jim said, entering the bridge as the lift's doors opened. As I returned to my station I considered Aurelia Tanner's face. Her features were symmetrical and brows lightly arched. Blonde hair and blue eyes were often desire traits among humans, the captain's adventures amongst women proved that, and from the distance I had seen her she had seemed to have smooth skin. Aurelia was short, however, more so than average for human females. By human standards she would be viewed as attractive I deduced.

"A small concussion, two cracked ribs, and then more than you fair share of bruises and scrapes. For being chased by Klingons you are in spectacular shape," the doctor, McCoy or Bones depending on who you are, said after checking me over with the scanner to be sure he hadn't missed anything while healing me.

"Thanks, I was going for spectacular," I said sarcastically.

"What rank are you?" he asked, thick, dark brows furrowed as usual. Reaching up to squeeze my hair, water splattering down on the floor, as I glanced over the standard, black Starfleet dress I had regenerated.

"A commander with focuses in both communications and engineering with minor focuses in both science and captain studies," I told him, pulling at my skirt. The edge had been torn in my escape and now instead of reaching mid-thigh it barely hid everything from view.

"That's quite a lot for someone your age," he told me, injecting me with a hypospray without warning.

"Ouch! I'm eighteen but my whole life I've been surrounded by Starfleet, grew up on a ship even. My play ground was the engineering room and the Med Bay my second home. You learn a lot living on a ship," I said, rubbing my neck where he had injected me.

"What ship?" he asked merely to keep up conversation.

"It doesn't matter," I murmured, looking away.

"Kirk to Bones," the Captain, James, called through the doctor's communicator.

"Yes, Jim?" he asked, sounding rather unpleasant.

"Please escort Miss Tanner up to the bridge," he ordered. Bones wandered off cussing before returning waving for me to follow him out of the room. As we walked through the halls I remembered back to my childhood when I'd passed through nearly identical halls.

_"Please don't take me to see daddy. He will be mad," I pleaded as I followed Mickey down the hall. His name wasn't really Mickey but I liked it better than what the others called him._

_ "No he won't, Aurelia. You scraped your knee, he'll just be disappointed a little," he said without looking at me, his usually gruff voice soft. It was always soft with me._

_ "That's even worse," I mumbled as we entered the lift. _

The doors opened before us, revealing the bridge before us. As we walked in James turned to face us, his expression calm and serious.

"Welcome to the bridge, Aurelia, I hope you are feeling better," he greeted politely but I could hear the tension in his voice.

"Much, sir. Thank you for letting Dr. McCoy tend to me," I replied, bowing my head to him as I clasped my hands behind my back. From behind James I could see Spock staring at me curiously, no doubt studying my posture and such. Vulcans were very perceptive and he would be no exception.

"Are you ready to tell me who taught you that code yet?" he asked.

"Captain Kirk, no matter how many times you ask I will not tell you. They are trustworthy and you will gain no advantage by acquiring their names," I told him coldly, relentless in protecting them. James sighed and stood, approaching me in a few wide strides.

"Miss Tanner," he said in a deadly calm voice, "I can assure you that should whatever you are keeping from me endanger my ship and crew I will personally take care of you, whether that be escorting you off of this ship or with my phaser." Narrowing my eyes I looked him up and down before meeting his eyes. After a few moments of a tense stare off I smiled, showing my teeth and all as the tension left my body.

"You are a good captain, James T. Kirk and if you would allow me I would like to serve under you on this ship. I am, after all, indebted to you," I told him as he relaxed slightly, more comfortable now that he knew he could command me.

"The crew of the Enterprise is always willing to accept more help. Keep in mind, however, that I will keep a close eye on you," he warned. I smirked confidently at him, well aware that my eyes were shining with determination.

"I would expect no less form you, Captain."

"What are you skills, Lieutenant?" James asked as he sat back down.

"Engineering, sir."

"Good, Scotty needs more help all the time. Are you familiar enough with a Starfleet vessel to find your way to the engine room?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then be on your way," he said. With a nod, I left, well aware of the captain's cool eyes following me out.

"Spock, I want you to watch that girl as closely as possible," Jim ordered me after she left.

"Of course, sir," I answered.

"I just…"

"Don't trust her, Captain?" I offered only to have him shake his head.

"The opposite. I do and I don't even know her," Jim said quietly.

* * *

Author's Note

I have a lot of hopes for this story and it's all planned out, mostly written, and even a hopeful sequel started depending on how well this takes out. Please Read and Review!

**EDIT: There were some spelling errors in here so I briefly fixed a few at the very beginning. **


	2. Chapter 2

I. Am. So. Sorry.

Really, I am. I started this story at a horrible time and completely failed at keeping up with it. See, I uploaded this, and my other fanfiction Guardian, days before I left for my job at a summer camp where I had no access to a computer and once those months were done I was busy preparing for college. I sincerely apologize. I love this story and am EXCEEDINGLY grateful for all of this comments and follows it has received I promise that later I will address all of those wonderful people who have commented and followed and favorited and alerted but for now you guys deserve to just have this chapter up.

Also, I reread the first chapter and am horrified at all of the spelling errors that were in it. I hope this chapter is better.

As a side note, I know nothing on how the engine room works so this is all imagination. I also cannot keep up with intense accents for Scotty and Chekov so please forgive me if they are horribly incorrect.

Please review, it makes me eager to update and gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside!

* * *

Chapter Two

The turbo lift's doors opened to reveal the engine room but instead of admiring the pristine machinery my eyes wandered to the fuming man who was almost as red as his hair yelling at some small being he called Keenser. I held back a smile at the amusing sight and took a deep breath, walking forward with the most confident stride I could muster. The familiarity of the room both relaxed me and made me nervous. As a child the engine room had been my play ground but I had to keep in mind that this was not the same ship I had grown up on. Many engineers in red shirts turned from their work to look at me, the new arrival in black. It wasn't the first time I had been judged by curious eyes and like all the other times I was going to prove that a small, blonde girl was capable of anything. Approaching the shouting man, Scottish I know realized, I cleared my throat.

"Excuse me, Sir," I said firmly, my tone demanding attention while not suggesting I was above him.

"What?!" he yelled, turning his flushed face to me, blinking as my appearance took him back. "Uh, pardon me, lass. That little rascal has me in a foul mood. How can I help ye?"

"I am Commander Aurelia Tanner, the girl you beamed up from Qo'nos. I trained in engineering at the academy and Captain Kirk thought I could be of help to you," I said, giving a polite bow of my head.

"Ah, that lass! Ye look different when you aren't wet and laying down," he said, glaring at a few crewmen when they snickered at his words, his face flushed. "I'd be glad for an extra hand around here, especially with those blokes. What areas are you best in?"

"I can handle just about anything you throw at me, Sir," I told him.

"Good, good, and call me Scotty, sir is just wrong." Smiling, I nodded again, relaxed now.

"As long as you promise to call me Aurelia."

"Agreed, lass," he said, clapping me on the shoulder, mumbling an apology when I stumbled forward a step. "First order, get real clothes and come back tomorrow. Understood?"

"Of course. I'll see you then, Scotty." Turning to leave, I walked off with a smile. Already, I had a place on the Starship Enterprise and it hadn't even been a full day yet.

Once I was back to my newly assigned room I slipped out of the torn dress and collapsed onto my bed in a sigh. The day had been long and the last time I'd been able to relax and even think about sleep had been long before I was on Qo'nos. Rolling over on the plush mattress, I closed my eyes with a sigh. The low, mechanical hum that sent most people into slumber was my only companion as the night wore on. Hours after the rest of the ship had fallen asleep I sighed, pushing my tired body upright as I looked out at my darkened room.

"Computer, lights at forty percent," I mumbled, a light glow casting over the clean room. Standing, I asked the regenerator for some simple clothes, just a shirt and shorts, and dressed slowly. There was no point in just lying in bed restlessly. I needed some sort of relaxation and I knew just the place to search for it. Leaving my room I turned right, walking silently through the hall to the turbo lift.

* * *

Walking into the dimly lit Mess Hall I found Aurelia Tanner sitting at a table close to the windowed wall, her icy eyes staring out at the stars. A mug was gripped I her small hands and she had propped her feet up on a chair as she lounged in a thinly strapped shirt and fabric shorts. She spared me a glance, hesitating a moment too long for it to be casual before her gaze returned to the stars.

"Hello, Sp-Commander Spock," she quickly corrected herself.

"Good evening, Commander Tanner," I greeted her, gathering a cup of tea for myself.

"I believe you would agree that it is far past evening, Commander, seeing as it is nearly 0230," she replied, sipping from her mug.

"Indeed it is, but seeing as wishing someone a good night is a parting phrase I thought it would perhaps be best to use the greeting most common for meeting someone late in the day," I explained, my back to her.

"Technically it is morning."

"Quite the observation, Commander Tanner," I noted. "May I join you?"

"Of course," she said, motioning to the chairs beside her.

"If I may ask a personal query, Commander-," I started.

"Ugh," she spat, scrunching up the right side of her top lip and squinting her right eye. "Please, call me Aurelia. I hate being called Commander and it's only us two so there is no need to be formal," she said, drinking more of her beverage.

"Very well then, Aurelia, may I ask a personal query?"

"Feel free to," she urged, looking over at me as I chose a seat near her feet to sit.

"How did you end up on Qo'nos?" I asked, my eyes flickering to her bare arms and legs before returning to her oddly familiar gaze. I knew I had seen it before but her stare was softer, more collected and thoughtful.

"My vessel was damaged by a black hole. While I managed to escape it left me stranded in Klingon territory. While I was trying to get a distress call out a warbird approached and took me hostage," Aurelia explained, flicking some of her hair back. Even in the dark Mess Hall I could tell her hair was a lighter color dry than wet, closer to gold.

"A black hole you say?" I asked, no doubt thinking about the events that had occurred only a year ago with a black hole.

"I do believe that is what I said and no, I didn't see anyone come out of it," she said before I could ask.

"How did you-."

"Everyone, especially Starfleet, is aware of what happened the day Vulcan was destroyed and the events leading up to it," she said softly, watching me with gentle eyes. "I imagine it must still be difficult to talk about."

"It is not pleasant but I feel hope when I think of New Vulcan," I told her.

"Hope…what a human emotion," she whispered. For a moment we sat in silence before she sighed loudly, placing her feet on the ground. "I have an early morning. Sleep well, Spock, seeing as night has passed and good morning is a greeting." Aurelia stood, disposing of her mug before leaving the Mess Hall. As I sat on my own I thought about the emotions that had been in her eyes when she had spoke of Vulcan. They had been guarded but I had still detected a sorrow that I had seen before in my own eyes after Vulcan's destruction. I thought of this so much that it wasn't until much later I realized she had not called me Commander and even then she had sounded sincere when wishing me a peaceful slumber. This troubled me. Why would a human woman I barely knew appear so sorrowful and sincere in my presence?

* * *

Two days. For two days I had worked in the engine room with other engineers in crimson shirts fixing things, all the while being promised "Just wait, something big will break, it's how things are done on the Enterprise". Then, on the second day of fixing small problems and cleaning more pipes than I ever cared to see again, something big broke. As I was on my way to run a check up on a phaser that was suspected to be malfunctioning there was a loud explosion and a shudder ran through the whole engine room, throwing me into a railing. After I picked myself up I looked at a bulky engineer who was standing from where he had fallen during the shaking.

"What was that?" I asked quickly, many others repeating the question around us.

"Sounded like it came from the dilithium chambers," he said, growing quiet at the end as a familiar Scottish voice started echoing through the machinery.

"Get up ye useless buggers! We got a problem ta fix!" Scotty shouted, running around the catwalk just up the stairs from me.

"What's happened?" I called up to him.

"One of the pipes leadin' ta the engine burst. We're leakin' dilithium," he toldly me quickly, many people already running about as they flocked to their stations.

"Which pipe?" I asked.

"The main one, lass, before it branches off."

For safety purposes, the Enterprise had more than one engine in case of failure and dilithium was always running towards the spares in some amount just to keep it warmed up should we need it. To conserve space, the dilithium chambers were stored in the same place, a main pipe leading away before breaking off towards the engines. It was a major problem that the main pipe was the one that had broken. Usually, we could switch to another engine in the case of a broken pipe but now we were dead in space with no power.

Immediately I was in action, sprinting towards the stairs that led to the catwalk Scotty was on.

"Get that leak stopped!" he ordered as engineers ran wild. I wove through the red clothed bodies, taking steps two at a time. As I was about to run into Scotty I placed one hand on the railing and swung myself over it, dropping five feet to land on a gathering of thin pipes that ran high above the dilithium chambers. "What are ye doin'!" Scotty shouted from above as I took off running. Gathering speed on the thin pipes I jumped out to a parallel pipe six feet away. Just when it looked as if I would fall to my death my hands latched on to the ledge that ran along both sides of the thick pipe, sealing it. With a grunt and some skill, I moved along the edge until I reached a few thin ladder rungs. Pulling myself up I reached my destination, a large valve. Gripping it with both hands I turned it with all my strength. At first it didn't move but then it gave a screech and began to turn slowly before becoming looser and soon spinning effortlessly. When it came to a sudden halt there was a loud hiss as the pipe sealed, cutting off dilithium from the engines. With a relieved sigh I wiped my sleeve along my forehead, smiling triumphantly up at a shocked Scotty.

"The leaks been stopped!" I called up, putting my hands on my hips.

"How did you do that!" he yelled, his voice cracking. Thinking back fondly I shook my head.

"Long story."

_"Get down from there!" I giggled from my perch on the dilithium chambers, standing quickly and running along the red pipe that I had learned led to the engines. As the chambers disappeared from underneath me I didn't really notice it as dangerous. "Come back here! Your father is going to __**kill**__ me, Aurelia!"_

_ Laughing gleefully, I continued along the pipe, other engineers shouting out in shock as I ran. The older man followed above me on the catwalk, calling out for me to stop. At one point my foot slipped and I fell only to have it stop on the ledge on each side of the pipe. Standing once more before jogging off with a giggle, I head the man threatening me. _

_ "If you don't stop right now I'll call your father!" he yelled._

_ "Daddy's off of the ship!" I replied, hearing cussing in return. If daddy knew he swore near me he'd yell at him. I would never tell daddy though, I liked the way his voice sounded._

_ "Fine, I'll just have to tell __**him**__," he tried. I stopped, skidding to a halt as I gaped at him._

_ "You wouldn't!"_

_ "I would!"_

_ "If you do I'll tell daddy you cuss!"_

_ "You said that last time!"_

_ "This time I mean it!"_

_ "You said that too!"_

_ "Well, I'll…I'll…" I paused, glancing around and seeing a large wheel to my right. Running to it I grabbed ahold of it. "I'll turn this wheel if you do!"_

_ "Even if you could turn that valve it would only get you in trouble with both your daddy and __**him**__," he said._

_ "Wa-why? What's it do?" I asked, looking at it._

_ "It stops the dilithium from going to the engines and that would stop the ship."_

_ "Oh."_

"Kirk to Scotty, we've lost all engine power," the captain called down over the intercom.

"Yes, captain. In order to stop the leak it was necessary. We won't have any power for a while until we fix the pipe," Scotty explained. "This new lass we have is quite something."

"Who?"

"Aurelia," Scotty told him. "She stopped the leak single handedly. I like her." Smiling smugly up at Scotty, I turned and started walking back to the dilithium chambers.

* * *

"I hear you performed exceptionally in the engine room today," Spock said as he and Jim sat down across from me.

"Thank you. I merely did what was necessary to keep this ship and its crew safe," I said, biting off a mouthful of apple.

"And I admire you for that," Jim said, nodding to me. I gave a cocky smirk and shrugged my shoulders.

"It was nothing really. Just my job," I said.

"Just your job!" Scotty exclaimed from beside me. "Lass, ye turned into an acrobat down there. It's like ye were raised in a circus."

"Ze circus vas inwented in Russia. Are you Russian, Commander Tanner?" Chekov asked over his bowl of creamy soup.

"No," I said with a laugh, "Just very familiar with engine rooms and the limits of what my body can do." The young blonde seemed to deflate, murmuring a soft 'oh' before bowing his head back to his food.

"Well, it was impressive, lass," Scotty said, clapping me on the back. "Count yourself good in my book." Smiling at the Scottish man I thanked him before standing to clean my tray.

"I'll see you when you're done eating, Scotty," I told him.

"See, Jim! She's a 'ard worker. Why didn't we find a lass like 'er sooner?" I heard the engineer exclaiming as I walked off. Chuckling to myself I left the Mess Hall and headed back to the engine room.

* * *

Please send a review!


	3. Chapter 3

Two updates, one day, what?

I haven't had time to super review all of this because I really wanted it out so sorry if there are many mistakes. Again, I don't have complete knowledge on everything. Kung Fu? Not my forte so work with me.

Exciting chapter this is! Not to say too much, but Spock is making discoveries. Where will they lead? Read and find out!

* * *

"I win again, Jim," I said as I stood from where I had thrown the Enterprise's captain on the ground. He was wheezing, the oxygen having been forced from his lungs at impact.

"Jesus, Spock, not so hard," he groaned, rolling over.

"You complain when I do not use my full strength," I reminded him as he stood, hissing as he straightened.

"I know, I know," Jim mumbled, moving to sit on the bench.

"How much rest do you require before we continue?"

"A while." The door to the on board gym opened, revealing Aurelia in a tight blue shirt with short sleeves and black shorts. Her long, golden waves were tied into a high ponytail that swayed as she walked in, dark blond brows arching in surprise.

"Hey, didn't expect to see you two. Am I interrupting?" she asked, pointing to the both of us.

"Not at all, Commander. Jim was in need of rest and is taking a break" I informed her.

"I assume you are winning again," she said without much thought, beginning to stretch.

"Yes. How would you know?"

"What?" she asked, confused.

"How do you know I usually win in our spars?" I elaborated for her.

"Oh, uh…the crew talks about it once in a while," she said after a moment of hesitation.

"How are your hand to hand combat skills?" Jim asked, stiffly raising a water bottle to his lips.

"Pretty good. I learned multiple fighting styles as I grew up," she said, rolling her shoulders and neck to loosen her muscles.

"Feel good enough to spar with our resident elf?" he asked, waving a limp hand at me. Aurelia shrugged, her eyes running up and down my body to determine my level of skill and fitness. It was not easy to do with the loose pants and long sleeves but my shirt fit lightly to my body. To a human I would appear fit, well defined muscles laying under my clothing, but since Vulcans possessed denser muscle mass it made me a much stronger adversary. Aurelia's gaze did not seem to be evaluating my build but more searching for something in particular.

"I believe I should prove an adequate opponent for him," she replied, her rosy lips curling up into a cocky smirk as her eyes took on a determined glint, a sense of what humans called déjà vu washing over me.

"Vulcans are three times as strong as a human male," I warned her as she lowered into a stance, fisting her hands.

"I know," she said, her cool eyes watching me for my first move. Wordlessly, I also lowered into a common stance of Vulcan martial arts, waiting for Aurelia to attack. Without warning she charged, much like Jim always did, but as I went to block the kick I assumed she would choose she instead dropped down low, swinging out her leg at my feet. I jumped only to be met with her hand swinging at me as I landed. Blocking her blows I found that my own were blocked just as easily. She appeared to have experience in sparring against Vulcan martial arts, her slim muscles deflecting my attacks surprisingly well. Switching tactics, I managed to get far enough away to lower myself into a tiger stance, an aggressive form of Kung Fu. Aurelia smiled and took a deep breath as she lifted on leg in the air, her two arms raising high as she switched to crane style, tiger's Kung Fu counterpart. Our blows resumed, each effectively blocking the other's strikes. I would attack low and she would jump high. She would kick high and I would duck low. Throughout our numerous blows and blocks I was surprised to find that she had yet to overly exert herself physically. As our onslaught of attacks continued I found an opening in her form and reached, my hand latching onto her bare wrist. Being so focused on our spar I had not realized my mental shield had dropped. As I prepared myself for the onslaught of Aurelia's emotions I was instead met with an unexpected shock, almost electrical, that ran through my body and then…nothing. I accepted that the shock had been the birth of our telepathic connection, the strongest I'd ever experienced, but failed to understand why I felt nothing from it. In my hesitation, Aurelia's hand had neared my neck and I found my other hand doing the same. Both of our hands made contact at the same time, pinching and causing us both to lose consciousness. Our telepathic bond broke, her moment of weakness sending me a flash of emotion. While I was too far gone to comprehend what feelings I had received I knew why the bond had previously been empty. Someone had taught Aurelia how to form a mental shield and her control was impeccable. Someone had also taught her how to successfully preform the Vulcan neck pinch, a truly difficult technique. Whoever had was obviously Vulcan but who and more importantly why?

* * *

Awareness came gradually to me, starting first with sounds of brisk steps and short orders. Then scent, sterility and alcohol. When I began to feel again I recognized the stiff table I lay on as belonging to the Med Bay, the rest of the sounds and smells now making sense. Slowly, so my eyes could adjust to the bright lights above me, I opened my eyelids. It only took a few moments for me to remember why I was here. I had been sparring Spock and we had made a connection, one that ended with us both suffering a Vulcan pinch.

"Look who's awake," came Bones' gruff voice as he walked up next to me, leaning over with the ever stern expression still on his face.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, pushing myself into a sitting position.

"Only about twelve minutes. The green blooded hobgoblin is still in dreamland, probably sorting out the most _logical_ way to wake up," the good doctor grumbled. "Let me be the first to congratulate you on knocking him out."

"It was only a pinch," I admitted quietly, rolling my shoulders in an attempt to wake up my still sleeping arms. "He's really still asleep?"

"Not even the latest hypospray vaccination woke him up, I tried. Then again, it didn't wake you up either but I might have missed the right spot a few times on him."

"There's no wrong spot for a hypospray, Bones," I reminded him.

"A slumbering Vulcan doesn't know that."

"He probably does," I mumbled. "Am I good to go?"

"Yeah, yeah, get out of here. I don't want to see you again until it's time for you physical," he griped, waving his hand. Jumping off the table I flashed him a smile and clapped him on the shoulder.

"I'll try, doc, but no promises." On my way out of Med Bay I caught sight of a pair of feet with loose, black pants attached, the long legs slightly dangling off of the small table. With the confirmation that he was still passed out I quickly made my way to my room, hoping he wouldn't think to come to my room after he was awake. I had some thinking to do before we spoke again and half-truths to practice saying.

* * *

"Hello, Commander," I greeted as the half Vulcan entered the empty Mess Hall, gathering a cup of tea just as he had the last time we'd both been here.

"Hello, Commander Tanner. May I join you again?" he asked.

"Only if you call me Aurelia," I told him, sipping my hot chocolate as he approached.

"That is acceptable. Please call me Spock in return." I raised my eyebrows at him, licking my lips clean of my hot beverage as I lowered my mug to my lap.

"I must be improving if I am to be granted this honor," I said sarcastically. "What did I do in order to be granted it?"

"We are in a relaxed, private setting, it is only appropriate. Also, our last meeting here you called me Spock so I see no logical reason to say you can do so no longer," he told me, sitting in a chair opposite of me.

"Very logical," I said with a nod.

"May I ask a personal query?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Who taught you the Vulcan neck pinch? I have never seen it successfully performed by anyone not of Vulcan descent," he said, dark eyes narrowed slightly at me, no doubt evaluating my every single blink and breath.

"I grew up on a starship and onboard was a Vulcan. They took care of most of my studies and, as I grew, taught me self-defense. You no doubt sensed my mental shield earlier and would be correct in assuming the Vulcan who taught me both skills are one and the same. Due to our close proximity I was taught to forma shield against them as to not cause any distractions from my lessons. The Vulcan neck pinch was one of many techniques that I was taught," I informed him, staring at him intently.

"I was not aware of another Vulcan being involved in Starfleet," Spock said thoughtfully.

"There are many things you are not aware of. That does not mean they cease to exist," I said, turning my eyes back to the stars. Tonight the Enterprise was passing a galaxy and space appeared to be a concoction of blue, green, and purple dust.

"Why do you come here at night? Do you not require sleep?" Spock asked, tilting his head to the side. My lips turned up in a small smile but it didn't reflect any feelings I had inside or reach my eyes.

"I thought you asked to only make one personal query? So far I count three." We sat in silence as I sipped from my mug again, relishing in the warmth that flooded through me from it. "I have troubles sleeping sometimes. When I was younger I would always find a window much like this one and stare out of it. I found it comforting."

"You used the word found, suggesting that looking out windows no longer comforts you. Is this assumption correct? Spock asked. Sighing, I looked down at my hot chocolate and nodded.

"That would be correct."

"Perhaps Dr. McCoy would be able to supply you with sleeping medications," Spock suggested.

"Perhaps," I said quietly. I didn't tell him I despised pills and thought back to how I had dealt with this in the past.

_ I was thirteen and still couldn't sleep. After researching some on my own I had learned that by my age most children could sleep soundly. Then again, I knew I was not normal. Sighing, I hugged my knees to my chest, resting my chin on top as I stared out at the stars. They always relaxed me but tonight they did not seem to lull me to sleep with their infinite serenity._

_ The hiss of the Mess Hall doors opening and closing alerted me that I wasn't along. I knew it was him without looking. He took a few moments to come sit beside me, offering me a steaming cup of hot chocolate. Accepting it, he lowered himself beside me, folding his lengthy legs into a lotus position. Wordlessly, I sipped at my drink before copying him, laying my hands on my knees with the mug before me, its comforting aroma wafting up towards me._

_ "Deep breaths, Aurelia. Focus on centering yourself," the large Vulcan said from beside me._

_ "Why can't you just project your calm into me like before? It always works better," I mumbled, not wanting to close my eyes in fear of what images I might see._

_ "The next time we dock with Starfleet for repairs you are to attend the academy as well as learn what life on Earth is like. Depending on how long we are on shore leave, I may not always be there to help you. It is necessary for you to be able to calm yourself," he told me. My lips formed a tight line as I stared out at space._

_ "Dad just wants me off this ship and you agree with him," I accused, rage boiling in my stomach. I knew it was a lame excuse and low blow but I preferred anger to hurt._

_ "You do not mean that and you know it is not true," he said quietly but I could hear the small waver in his voice that hinted at just how much my words unsettled him. "Your father and I simply wish for you to continue your education. I cannot tutor you forever, Aurelia. It is not logical."_

_ "What is not logical is sending me back to Earth and the academy when I can learn more first-hand here," I spat, standing abruptly with my hands fisted at my sides. "I can learn much more on this ship than at Starfleet academy." _

_ "Your emotions are controlling you" the Vulcan said calmly._

_ "I'd rather they control me than bury them deep inside," I shouted. His hand flashed out, no doubt to pinch my neck, and I deflected it. He was much stronger than I was but I knew he would never use his strength against me, not when it could hurt me. "A pinch? Really? The moment I get upset you go to pinch me?"_

_ "You are in need of rest. Your lack of sleep has made you agitated and emotionally vulnerable," he said._

_ "Don't try to logic your way out of this-," I started to threaten only to see his other hand raise quicker than the first, connecting with my psi points. Calmness shot through my senses that was not my own, overwhelming me as I felt myself go limp, almost blacking out. He caught me, cradling my tiny form against his massive one as he stood. Amidst the ocean of calm I was drowning in I felt guilt and pain but I was asleep before he was even walking._

"Another option could be meditation," Spock brought up ironically. "From what I have researched, humans find it rather relaxing."

"Is that so?" I mumbled.

* * *

Well? What do you think? I look forward to your reviews! They make me update really fast!


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for taking so long to update! I'm not too happy with this chapter, a little boring really, but it was necessary to get to the next which will be more exciting ;).

There is a mention of hot chocolate (yum) in this chapter. For those of you who don't know, chocolate is like alcohol for Vulcans, they get drunk off of it. Hope you enjoy! The next will be up shortly because things get fun!

* * *

Aurelia was, as humans would say, dead on her feet. She had come to the bridge as Scotty's replacement to give the engineering report. Her golden hair was tied up messily and her uniform was wrinkled. Dark shadows haunted her dull eyes and as she spoke her voice was quiet and meek instead of her usual confident tone. Him nodded to every word she said, his brow furrowed in not only concentration but concern.

"Lastly, due to our previous dilithium leak we will only have a max output of warp four until proper repairs can be made," she finished, her eyelids only half open.

"Understood. Now, Commander Tanner, I am ordering you to return to your chambers and get some shut eye," he said.

"Captain, that is not nece-."

"That's an order, Commander. Spock, make sure she does." As I stood Aurelia's eyes flashed to me before shaking her head.

"No, really-."

"You look like death, not even warmed up, just ask Bones. Now go," Jim said, waving his hand as he turned in his chair to Sulu. I escorted Aurelia to the turbolift, the doors hissing shut. Pressing the door to my desired level the lift began to more.

"That's not my level," Aurelia told me.

"It is mine. I am going to help you meditate," I said simply.

"Meditating will not help, my…Vulcan tutor tried meditation and it didn't work."

"Your Vulcan tutor was not me." Aurelia's lips shut into a tight line, her eyes staring straight ahead. The doors opened and we continued to my room without further argument. Quickly typing in my code, the door hissed aside, allowing us in my quarters. The first action I completed was to order the computer to dim the lights and lower the temperature. My quarters were kept at a much warmer temperature than the rest of the ship, close to Vulcan's heat.

"Please, choose a place in the living room to meditate while I retrieve the incense," I said, walking towards my sleeping quarters to retrieve said item.

"Incense smoke makes me sneeze," she called out softly.

"Do you have a preferred scent that relaxes you?" I asked.

"Hot chocolate," she said after a moment's hesitation. "I understand that the smell may bother you-."

"It should not affect me too much. I shall regenerate some while you find a place for meditation." As I entered the living room with a mug of steaming liquid, its aroma tickling my nasal cavities, Aurelia was seated in the lotus position amidst a pile of pillows, one placed over her lap to hide what her skirt would not. Setting the mug in front of her, I sat in front of her, mirroring Aurelia's position. Her glacial eyes were closed but despite her deep breaths I could see the tension in her body.

"Relax. Your muscles are too tense," I told her. With a sigh, Aurelia rolled her shoulders in an attempt to loosen them. "If I may be so bold to ask why it is you say meditation failed previously?"

"It never succeeded in centering me," she said, sounding slightly annoyed. "There were always…distractions."

"May I perform a mind meld to help demonstrate the proper way to meditate?"

"No," Aurelia spoke curtly. We sat in silence for minutes after that, my gaze set on the small woman as she failed to achieve serenity. Pursing her lips was the first sign of failure, then fidgeting. Loud sighs came next until she gave a grunt of frustration and threw her hands in the air, opening her eyes. "This is impossible!"

"I believe a mind meld would be beneficial," I stated. Aurelia pursed her lips while watching me carefully.

"Fine but no digging," she told me. Holding up my hand, I placed three fingers on her psi points, closing my eyes as our minds connected. Unlike last time I was able to enter her mind but her shields were still strong despite her exhaustion, not allowing me to access anything. Aurelia let her shields release her emotions of frustration and annoyance. Projecting calm into her mind I attempted to sense why she could not meditate. The moment I accidentally pushed against her shield she thrust me out of the meld, icy eyes glaring at me. "I said no digging."

"I was merely attempting to locate the reason as to why you cannot efficiently meditate. Touching your mental shield was purely accidental," I informed her. "Please allow me to at least send you to sleep."

"If you pry into my head I will make you regret it," she warned, closing her eyes. It only took a few moments for her to fade away once I reinitiated our meld. As she drifted off her shield lowered unintentionally. I withdrew before too much information was unveiled but not quickly enough to avoid the emptiness I felt lingering inside her. This loneliness was an emotion I was particularly familiar with. It was the same void I had felt, and still did at times, when Vulcan was destroyed, claiming the life of not only my mother but my bonded mate T'Pring. T'Pring and I had never been close and we had even considered separating but her death had left me empty.

This could only mean one thing.

Aurelia had been bonded to a Vulcan and then that bond had been broken. She as young, only eighteen. What Vulcan would have bonded with a human so young? Surely not for Pon Farr reasons, no Vulcan would have allowed such a dangerous bonding. I would have to ask Aurelia about it after she was well rested. Moving her from the floor to the couch, I disposed of the hot chocolate before returning to the bridge.

* * *

I was dreaming, I knew that the moment I opened my eyes and found myself on Vulcan. IN my life aboard the Enterprise Vulcan did not exist. None the less, I could feel the hot, Vulcan sun beating down on my mostly bare skin. Glancing down I realized that I was wearing a top and skirt resembling a belly dancer. My toned stomach was revealed but unlike the last time I had worn an outfit similar to this it was pale, not tan.

The deserts and canyons of Vulcan stretched out before me, the red landscape extending as far as the eye could see. I felt a presence approached me from behind but could tell from the emptiness inside of me that it was false. _He_ was not here as much as I hoped he was. I had lost _him_ because of a brash mistake.

"You emotions are overwhelming you, Aurelia," his familiar, monotone voice said, its low vibrations buzzing through my chest. "It is starting to show."

"I haven't been sleeping," I admitted, staring out ahead in determination to not turn around.

"Have you attempted med-."

"Meditation does not work!" I snapped.

"-ication." We both stood in silence. Sighing, I closed my eyes and bowed my head.

"I miss you," I whispered. "Without you here I-."

"I am with you, Aurelia," he said forcefully. "Even if the bond is empty at the moment I am with you."

"It's not the same," I breathed, Vulcan's heat fading as I woke up.

* * *

When I returned to my quarters Aurelia was gone, the pillows back in their respective place so that there was no noticeable sign of her presence in the room except for a warm scent I had come to associate with her. After a few hours of meditation I made my way to the Mess Hall. I often encountered the Commander there and it was a logical place to find her at night. Upon my entrance to the empty space I cast my eyes upon the table Aurelia frequented only to find it empty. A quick search through the regenerator also showed that no hot chocolate had been requested that night. Making a cup of tea I took a seat, deducing that she may have simply not arrived yet.

As I waited I began to form hypothesizes as to why a Vulcan would mate a human, let alone one so young. When I came to no clear conclusion I turned my attention to the Commander's curious past. Just as Jim had instructed, I kept a close eye on her only to find she was exceptionally efficient at nearly every task she was given and moved around the ship as though she was a ballroom dancer and the Enterprise was her dance floor. A search of the database gave no hints to her past but the information at my disposal was not unlimited.

After hours of waiting I returned to my quarters to meditate, hoping the practice would allow a deeper level of understanding to the young Commander's odd situation.

* * *

The shower rained down on me, scalding drops burning my skin even as I turned the temperature higher, the steam suffocating my lungs as I took deep breaths of the moist air. The few hours of sleep Spock had given me had proved to be of little help at easing my mind, simply giving my body more energy to put towards thought. Lowering my head, clumps of my blonde hair hung around my shoulder as well as the bright pendent hanging from my neck. Usually it was hidden under my uniform but I never removed it and the shower was one of the few places it was visible.

It was a small, oddly shaped crystal that had once been my mother's, becoming mine when she passed. The blue gem was brilliant and at times appeared to have a cerulean light of its own. The pendent resembled a ribbon in free-fall, the top forming a long loop with two trailing ends. A delicate silver chain was its home and it hung comfortably at the top of my breasts. My father had given it to my mother and now, other than some of my looks, it was the only thing I shared with the woman who had birthed me.

With a frustrated growl and slammed my hand against the commands of the shower, turning it off as I walked into my bathroom, caring less as I left a trail of soggy footprints. Coming to stand before my mirror I swiped a hand along the condensed mirror, leaving a trail of fat droplets to obscure the view I was seeking but it revealed enough. In the mirror I did not see the Aurelia that had been running for her life on Qo'nos. I did not see the same girl that had shut off the dilithium pipe to the engines. Not even the girl who stared at stars late at night and spoke with a half Vulcan First Officer looked back.

Instead I saw a girl with a tortured mind and no reprieve in the future. I cursed at myself, knowing I never should have come here. Without _him_ I couldn't think straight and _he_ wasn't here, or anywhere. In this universe his presence did not exist.

Once the mirror fogged over again I toweled myself off, barely dressing myself before collapsing on my bed, gripping the sheets as I fought to hold on to what sanity I could manage.

* * *

So, something a little hint about Aurelia in case you aren't quite catching in. She's not crazy, no where near, but she's having some problems with controlling her mind/thoughts/emotions/just mind things in general. Why? Wait for the next chappie ;)

Thank you for all of your comments! I love them! I promise one day I will find the time to respond to each of them but just not now.

Please review! They make me happy and want to update and the longer I don't update I feel more and more guilty. Until next time!

Oh yeah, how are you feeling about the progress? Too fast? Too slow? Do you just want more? Tell me! I am open to suggestions, just not hate. I wrote this in excerpts so I am filling some things in. Coming up is a big skip in what I've wrote and I want to know what you guys would like to see because I've got space to fill and why not give the crowd what they want? Let me now!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long, especially after I meant to update it rather quickly. Midterms, go figure. Here it is though! I had a few trouble spots but I really wanted this out for you guys. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

The next few days passed uneventfully, most of my time spent on my back under the engines as I tweaked the bolts individually, making sure everything was at its proper tightness. My schedule had changed and thus my meals occurred at different times now, not that I went to all of them. Usually what food I ate was either something I shoved in my mouth as I ran to engineering, hoping to make it on time and avoid a raging storm of Scottish fury, or something I lazily regenerated in my room at night. Lack of food and undernourishment was beginning to show, paling my skin and making my torso look less lean and more bony. None the less, I pushed through my work and picked up the slack that a few engineers had left behind in this period of easy sailing aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise. Every once in a while Scotty would question me, his puzzled red brows displaying his concern, but I waved him off with a hand, saying I had work. Work helped me focus and right now, more than any other time, I needed something to distract myself. I had managed a few hours of sleep when Spock knocked me out but since then my nights had been restless.

"Lass, we're goin' ta eat. Ye comin'?" Scotty called from somewhere near my feet.

"Nah, I ate earlier," I said, not quite lying. I had ate part of a croissant at 3 a.m. As the Head Engineer walked off, mumbling something about sandwiches, I sighed, reaching behind my head to pull my hair free of the ponytail I had thrown it in. It was a vain attempt to make my headache go away but anything was worth a try.

* * *

It had been exactly one hundred and sixteen hours, thirty-four minutes, and approximately twenty-seven seconds since I had seen Commander Tanner in my chambers. Approximately. Nearly five days had passed and despite logical deduction as well as some queries to engineers I had yet to successfully locate the Commander until now. A search in the computer system, a last resort, displayed Aurelia currently in the engine room. Taking a late lunch, so that most of the engineers would also be eating and away from their posts, I took the turbo lift a few levels lower than the Mess Hall, waiting patiently as they opened to the engine room. Another brief glance at the computer showed that her exact location was somewhere under engine E. Having memorized the exact layout of every level of the ship long before, I easily maneuvered the multiple stairs and turns to the nearest point of her location, a few abandoned tools in the walkway suggesting she truly was under engine E.

"Commander Tanner," I called, folding my hands behind my back.

"Yeah?" came a muffled reply from beneath the machinery. "What?" Remaining quite, I listened as she mumbled under her breath and then began to stir and slide, her head emerging, dust coating her red uniform and loose hair alike. "Wha-Oh, Commander Spock," she said, quieting what had appeared to be an annoyed yell to a much more polite level. With a few more pulls and pushes, Aurelia stood before me, hands at her side as she either did not notice the dust or had long since realized it was useless to try and remove it. "How may I help you?"

"I have not seen you for many days," I responded briefly, my gaze flicking down to her feet and back up, noticing she looked slightly thinner. "Are you well?"

"I am fine, Commander. My schedule has been changed and I have started spending my nights in my chambers rather than the Mess Hall. I find that my own window provides an adequate viewing of the stars as well," she replied. Her tone was flat, her words almost mechanical and practiced.

"Yes, the stars are visible from all windows aboard the Enterprise that are along the ship's outer shell," I stated, nodding.

"Of course. Is there anything you need, Commander? I have some more work to do," Aurelia said, motioning to the large engine by our side.

"I simply wished to inquire on how you were after your rest in my chambers. When I returned you were gone." The woman nodded, her eyes bleakly dropping before she blinked and looked up again, as though she had forgotten for a moment I was there.

"Yes, I did not wish to impose on your privacy any more. I slept well. Thank you," she said, a small, tight smile pulling across her lips.

"It is good to hear." We stood a few moments in silence. "If you would like, later I can help you-."

"I really should be working, Commander," she interrupted, turning away slightly.

"Yes, I do not mean to keep you from work. I simply have a personal query I would like to ask," I said.

"Perhaps later, Commander," she told me, turning to look away. A sudden urge burst in my "gut" as a human would call it and for a moment I became very unlike myself.

"You were bonded with a Vulcan," I declared abruptly, taking a deep breath and regaining my control. Aurelia's darkened eyes remained staring dully ahead. She gave a small nod, a tiny movement I almost missed. "You are awfully young to be bonded."

"Vulcans bond at seven," she said.

"You are not Vulcan," I told her. Aurelia leaned back against the engine quietly, her eyes slowly closing.

"It was an accident," she said softly. "It was formed while I was very young."

"Vulcans do not accidentally form bonds," I stated factually.

"He was overwhelmed when we first made skin contact. I was a mere child and had yet to form any sort of emotional control."

"Making a telepathic connection with someone that young, especially a human, was illogical and dangerous," I said.

"It was an accident!" she yelled, her eyes flashing open as she turned to glare at me. "He did not mean to make the bond so strong but it was necessary. Had he not touched me I would be dead!"

"Why was a Vulcan's touch necessary?" I asked curiously.

"…when I was young I was very sick. Eventually I fell asleep and didn't wake up. My father feared for my life. On board was a Vulcan, one of his closest friends. It took much pleading and convincing before he agreed. He knew the dangers as well as he made the mind meld…my emotional state of being became dependent on him and have the bond was made stronger than it should have been," she explained quietly. Aurelia was lying, I knew she was. But about what exactly?

"And now he is dead," I stated factually. She pursued him lips and looked down again.

"He is gone," she agreed quietly.

"Seeing as you are human and that you were emotionally dependent on him it is logical to conclude that with his passing you are now unable to control yourself at times. Is this correct?"

"I'm fine," Aurelia said through clenched teeth.

"This ship cannot afford a crew that is unable to efficiently complete their tasks," I told her.

"Just look at my records, Commander. All of my tasks have been completed without fail and my efficiency is better than the rest in my department," she declared, standing straight abruptly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to return to work." Without another word to me, Aurelia once again slipped under the engine, competently dismissing me and leaving an odd feeling in my chest.

As I returned to my station on the bridge, never making it to the Mess Hall, I had decided that I would seek her out again later. Surely she hadn't been sleeping well, not with her eyes looking that flat. I would help her meditate again tonight. As First Officer the well-being of the crew was partially my responsibility. Having decided that I would seek her out once more, I began my work, scanning the surrounding solar systems for oddities, all while the young Commander's thin form remained in the back of my mind.

* * *

By the time I emerged from under the last engine of the day the lights were dimmed and only a few engineers working the night shift wandered around, none thankfully in this area. Standing, I leaned against the machine to my right, feeling utterly weak and helpless. After Spock had spoken to me, bringing up my past bondmate, I had been reduced to a useless mass of cells in a humanoid form, barely able to complete my tasks as images and voices troubled me every moment, urging me to linger in what was no longer there. Trying to take a step forward I stumbled into the same machine again, my vision tilting. Cradling my head, I whimpered as I squatted down. Every crevice of my mind was haunted with emptiness. Each neuron cell was reaching for him, crying out for him, only to find nothing. I needed him and he wasn't here. When I was younger I had suffered similar problems but I'd never been alone like this.

_ I cowered under the desk, weeping over emotions I couldn't explain. My insides felt empty and I didn't understand why. I wanted the man with the pointed ears. He would make this all better. A week had passed since I'd seen him. Where was he? Why had he left? Had I done something?_

_ "Aurelia?" a soft, feminine voice called. I knew that voice well. It was my momma's voice. She wasn't my really momma but she was close enough. Daddy said my real momma was gone but I didn't mind when I had another. Daddy like her too, I could tell by how he looked at her. "Aurelia, where are you?" she asked but I knew she had already found me, her booted legs approaching. Getting down on her knees, she ducked her head under the desk. Her dark hair fell in a wave, shining despite the dim light. "Oh, baby," she cooed, her chocolate arms reaching for me. I crawled into them, taking some comfort in her warm embrace. "He'll be back in two days," she promised. Two days. I hid my face in her dark hair that I wished we both had and sobbed into it, the emptiness eating away at me._

"Aurelia," a flat voice said, drawing me out of my memory. Looking up I found Spock emotional. He looked…concerned. "What is wrong?"

"It…it…it's so empty," I whimpered, shivering. My fingers clenched bunches of my hair, pulling at it. "I thought I could handle it but I can't. I can't…it's too much." Warm hands covered my own, their strong grip making me release my hold of my hair and tugged me to my feet. When warmth surrounded me I didn't believe this was happening. Spock, the half Vulcan First Officer, was hugging me. I attempted to pull away only for his strength to pull me closer. One of his hands rose to meet my meld points. Our minds connected almost immediately and he flooded my senses with calm. At first I fought it before giving in, letting my body go limp. The only reason I didn't fall was because of Spock's tight hold on me. Amidst the calm he projected I felt something else, a proposition. Spock was suggesting we form an empathetic bond. He had decided it would fulfill my loneliness and that was only logical. He wouldn't make it strong enough to read each other's thoughts, only to feel the other's emotions from time to time.

"No," I whispered, shaking my head frantically. If he made an empathetic bond it would not end as he thought. I sensed Spock's confusion at my thought. He knew I was hiding something. Digging through his own memories I found the time we first sparred, reminding him of the electric spark he'd felt.

"Lower your mind shield," he told me.

"No," I said.

"Lower it."

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because I can't!" I yelled both aloud and through the meld. I had not put the shield in place but my conscious mind powered it. _He_ had put it in place so no Vulcan could invade my mind in its weakened state while I was young. Only another Vulcan of similar or greater strength could disband it and it would still take time.

"Allow me to disband your shield," Spock said, listening in on my thoughts. I looked up at him desperately before closing my eyes and saying a word I never thought I would.

"Please." Immediately Spock started to chip away at my shield but I knew it was taxing on him. He was mentally exhausted in no time but his last attempt was the most successful. Though his work was far from finished he had managed to release my essence. Once it broke free it overwhelmed him as his was no overwhelming me. We both collapsed to the ground, falling hard as we did. His hand fell away and my mind became my own again but I could still feel a small piece of Spock in my head. I lay beside him, panting as he spoke, gasped more like it, one word.

"T'hy'la." T'hy'la, the Vulcan word for soul mate. The shield had blocked Spock from realizing earlier but I'd known from the electric touch we'd had.

* * *

Well...would you look at that.

Hope you enjoyed the update! Let me now what you want to see and I'll work it in. I don't want this to be over too quickly and I'm always open to suggestions. Please review! I love reading them :)


	6. Chapter 6

From where I sat at my station on the bridge I could feel Aurelia's frustration in engineering. When I focused I could tell she was working on a broken phaser and it was giving her troubles. Her emptiness had begun to fade, part of my own presence lingering in its spot. Amidst her frustration I felt what could only be described as a sigh directed towards me. She had found me watching her again but while she was not pleased she wasn't unhappy. Aurelia was emotionally scolding me for looking in on her through our bond but not truly against it. The small bond we shared made her feel content and every time I used it she was reminded that she was no longer alone.

"Spock," Jim called, drawing my full attention back to the bridge.

"Yes, Captain?" I asked, turning to him.

"How is Commander Tanner as of late?" he asked, clear blue eyes focused on me.

"She is fitting in well with the crew," I answered, assuming he knew nothing of our bond.

"Good. I would like to take her on the away mission. Make sure she is prepared."

"I will inform her of the necessary requirements later tonight, Captain," I replied with a nod before we both turned back to our other duties. As I scanned through space for anything unfamiliar I did my best to let Aurelia know of my intention to meet her this evening in a professional manner. She was curious but agreed, the warmth flooding the core of my chest making me think of her preferred beverage during our nightly talks. With the time and place set, I began work again.

Nearly a week had passed since our bonding and already the positive effects of it were visible. Aurelia was healthier, both mentally and physically. Meals became something she once more attended on a regular basis and often her laugh filled the corners of the Mess Hall as she joked along with her fellow coworkers and at times Jim and the rest of the Bridge Crew. Workouts with Uhura had begun after the two discovered each other once at dinner and her thin form had become lean again. Through the bond I had sensed the subtle change from being lost to being found, our shared emotions solidifying a base for Aurelia to stand on that I knew she was thankful for, even if at first she had opposed such an idea.

The moment I had released her essence I had been overwhelmed. Something within her had connected deeply with me, deeper than anything I had felt while T'Pring was alive. T'hy'la. It was the only explanation for the sudden strength of our bond, especially when my half Vulcan blood was the only source of the bond. With T'Pring, our bond had been solid but weak, something we logically deduced was because of my heritage. Only the term soul mate could explain how I had reacted to Aurelia. She had accepted it with surprising ease, albeit slightly stunned from the sudden presence in her mind. That night I had escorted her to her quarters, bidding her a good night and expressing my thoughts that we should meet for breakfast. This was partly to assure myself that the bond had not affected her in any ill manner and to see to it that she began eating again. Nothing had changed in our relationship other than the empathetic connection. We politely ate meals together with the rest of the crew and twice we had sat in the Mess Hall at night, speaking quietly. I was unsure of how to approach this bond. While I was positive Aurelia was my t'hy'la it was not something I was familiar with. T'Pring and I had met only enough to know each other adequately and during our adolescent Pon Farr's. The young human girl who had previously been bonded to another Vulcan was different from anything I had ever known and that in itself was something I could not recall happening recently. For now, however, simply knowing the other was there was enough to satisfy us both.

* * *

Spock, for once, beat me to the Mess Hall that night which was even more surprising considering I came earlier than usual. Already, a mug of hot chocolate was waiting for me where I usually sat so I took it, offering a thankful nod to the half Vulcan, and sat down across from him, sipping the not too hot but not too cold mixture and succumbing to its pleasant taste.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, setting down my mug to meet his dark gaze.

"Jim wishes for you to accompany us on the upcoming away mission and assigned me to inform you on all you will need to know in preparation for it," Spock told me, his own cup of tea on the table before him, the scent so weak I could barely smell it.

"Okay. What do I need to know then?" I asked, covering a yawn with my hand.

"Basic protocol. Are you tired?" Spock inquired as I fought to keep my eyes open.

"Yes. I have begun sleeping regularly once more," I told him, offering a small smile.

"That is good to hear. I shall keep this brief then. Are you aware of how to use a phaser?"

"Yes," I said with a light laugh.

"Good, and you studied some science at the Academy?"

"Yes, I did, mainly terrestrial compounds as well as biotic organisms."

"Do you feel competent to be able to identify minerals and any life forms that we may encounter or would you prefer to simply scout out the land?" Spock asked.

"I can identify things," I confirmed, sipping from my mug.

"Very well. The planet we plan to visit is mainly desert and rocky. Be sure you arrive to the teleportation room at 0900 in two days wearing the appropriate attire. I will escort you back to you room." Without another word, we stood, disposing of our cups, and walked silently to my room.

"Perhaps I will see you tomorrow during lunch," I said as we strolled closer to my quarters.

"It is a logical assumption," Spock told me.

"Then, if we do encounter each other at lunch, maybe we can plan a time to spar. I've been looking for another opponent but Uhura doesn't seem to be the type to spar."

"Uhura has no combat training," Spock said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"We were in a brief relationship. We parted on good terms and still remain friends. As I know understand, she has taken a platonic interest in Jim," Spock informed me precisely, the flat tone of his voice while he delivered the facts making me fight back a small smile.

"I see. It is good you are still friends," I told him as we approached my door. "Humans sometimes are unable to stay connected with past loves."

"Our former relationship does not bother you, does it? With our bond…"

"Of course not. You said it was over and I believe you," I told him shortly. "I will see you tomorrow, Spock."

"Tomorrow, Aurelia." He waited for me to enter my code and my door to slide shut before leaving. Barely able to discard my uniform, I stumbled towards bed and collapsed into sleep.

Two days later, after an uneventful time in engineering and a sparring match with Spock that drew the attention of Jim and quite a few others, I stood in the teleportation room fitting a belt with a phaser and a few vials for samples to my hip. Two other men in red shirts were with me, fidgeting nervously and talking back and forth about how things never ended well for them. I rolled my eyes and told them they were worrying about nothing when Jim walked in, Spock and Bones following shortly behind him.

"Good morning, Commander Tanner," Jim greeted with a smile, strapping on his own belt.

"Good morning, Captain Kirk," I replied, giving him a quick nod before turning my gaze to Spock. He looked as put together as he usually did, not a hair out of place, and when he turned to see me we both greeted each other with nods.

"Well men, and woman, let's get this show on the road," Jim said, hopping up to the teleportation pad and taking his place on one of the six circles. Everyone followed, stepping onto the pad and standing over one of the circles. "Teleport," Jim ordered and with a few buttons pressed by Scotty thousands of yellow lights began to swirl around us. Standing stock still, I watched as the inside of the enterprise turned into a red, rocky planet. We waited for the lights to dim before fully taking in our new surrounds. To my left I found cliffs raising high above and to our right the ground sloped down into a canyon. The planet was dusty, a few rocks here and there with sparse plants that were bare of any foliage.

"Alright," Jim said, clapping his hands together, "Let's split up. Spock, Bones, and I will go down, you three will go up. Meet back here at 1200 hours." Nodding, I turned with the other redshirts and began climbing up towards the cliffs, gathering a few samples of dirt when I found an inconsistency amongst the color or texture. The men were practically useless, really just bodyguards as they had no background in the scientific field.

"Hey, look at that," one said, waving a hand toward the nearby cliff face now. There, between two slabs of rock, was an opening wide enough for us to fit into.

"Let's go," I told them, taking the lead.

"Hold it, tell me why we should go into that dark, little space?" the more nervous of the two asked, a sweat not from the heat already breaking out on his skin.

"Because it is our job. Now come on," I said, walking into the crevice, not caring really if they followed or not. Sure enough they did and we because slowly moving through the small space. In a few places water dripped down the wall, making the ground slick, and other times it was required that we climb over large boulders to move along the natural path.

"I hate small places," the nervous man muttered.

"Shut up," his friend hissed and I ignored them, hopping off of one boulder to look further ahead.

"There's an opening out ahead. It won't be small much longer," I told him, moving forward. The men quickened their pace, even pushing past me once it was wider to head for the light. Shaking my head at their antics, I took my time, enjoying the cool of the shade while it lasted as they burst into the hot sunlight. They paused momentarily, looking around their new surroundings as I arrived at the mouth of the crevice.

"It's like a bowl," the friend said, his assumption holding a lot of truth. Above us was nothing but sky but surrounding us on each side was a high wall of rock, the only entrance being the crevice we'd come through.

"There's a ledge up there," the once nervous man said, pointing above the crevice. Sure enough, there appeared to be a flat area that led to more nooks and crannies to be explored.

"Well, the captain said up," I told them, standing just inside the crevice, still in the shade.

"Nuh uh, I'm not climbing up there," his friend said.

"Why not?"

"Man, there could be, I don't know, snakes or something."

"Don't be a wuss."

"That means a lot, coming from the guy afraid of small spaces."

"I'm not afraid! I just don't like them." As they bickered back and forth I shook my head, sighing again. Just as I opened my mouth to say something there was a sudden yell and gurgling. Gasping, I watched as a cat-like creature jumped from above, most likely from the ledge, and attacked the once nervous man. When his friend screamed the beast turned on him, delivering a quick bite to his neck and shoulder that ended in more gurgling. Its yellow eyes turned on me and it quickly registered what this animal looked like. A le matya, a vicious creature once found on Vulcan with poisonous saliva that no antidote could cure. The beast wasn't a real le matya, but perhaps a distant cousin and just as strong. The nervous man's arm twitched, drawing the predator's attention away from me and I used it to turn to the wall and grasp the ledges of rock, pulling myself up, closer to the edge. I needed to hide. There was no outrunning that thing. It would chase me through the crevice and into the open where I couldn't escape. My best bet was to find somewhere it couldn't reach me. It was dangerous, considering I didn't know where I was going, but my only hope. As bones behind me snapped under powerful jaws I urged myself to quiet my fear and climb, just climb.

* * *

A spike of fear that was not my own chilled my veins, my breath catching in my throat. Standing abruptly I turned to look off in the direction Aurelia had gone with two other Ensigns.

"Spock?" Jim asked, "What's wrong?"

"Something has happened to the other team," I told him quickly, analyzing the quickest route up the cliff to their location.

"How do you know?"

"Aurelia is frightened," was all I said, starting to run up the cliff. Jim called after me but I knew he was following me with Dr. McCoy not far behind. As we crested the cliff we heard a scream I believe humans would have called blood curling. The only reason it did not worry me even more was because it was male. My attempts to see more through the bond failed, Aurelia's terror overwhelming me every time. Following the three sets of footprints in the dirt, we ran to a small crevice in the stone. Our speed slowed to a small walk as we maneuvered the large boulders along the thin crack. Ahead I saw a beam of light and upon arrival to it I found myself having exited the crevice and standing in an open area surrounded by red rock, sun shining from above.

"Where are they?" Jim asked, looking around. The dirt appeared to have been aggressively disturbed, only partial footprints remaining in the clearing. The walls were marked with claws, paler streaks showing where they had been raked. A predator had been here and it had been large. Turning around my eyes landed on the wall near the crevice we had emerged from. Jim and Dr. McCoy followed my gaze, both visually tensing. Up along the wall was a large streak of blood, leading to the landing we hadn't seen before.

"My god," Dr. McCoy said, no doubt realizing that whoever's blood was on the wall could no longer be alive.

"My guess, Captain, is that they are somewhere up there," I told him.

"They could all be dead," Jim whispered.

"Aurelia is still alive," I said, walking to climb the wall.

* * *

Quick update compared to usual. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter and as always I love reading you reviews so please add one! Comments and recommendations are welcome and encouraged.


	7. Chapter 7

The rocks cut into my hands as I climbed higher, snarls from below urging me on. My muscles were used to such activities, having spent many a shore leave on rocky planets. I could climb just about anything and never before had I been more grateful for that. Still, I was slower than usual and it had been years since I climbed a proper rock but it felt like yesterday.

_ "I'll race you to the top!" Steven yelled, sprinting to the cliffs that ran along the beach. Laughing I followed him, eager for the challenge. Steven had been my first friend at the Academy, son of one of the professors. In the early stages of our friendship we had spent a lot of time on the beach and now it was just our meeting place. By the time I started climbing Steven had a head start but while he could run faster I was better on the rocks. My years spent at the Academy had not been pointless. I was almost seventeen now and had grown to resemble a young woman. My breasts had swelled and hips emerged from hiding to make my form more womanly. My arms, legs, and abdomen were packed with lean muscle. Ever since arriving I had immersed myself into physical activity, determined to get as strong as possible. Climbing was by far one of my favorite activities and I was good at it. Already I had caught up to Steven and was about to pass him._

_ "You'd best hurry up unless you want a girl to win," I taunted, using my flexibility to reach higher footholds than Steven._

_ "I have to let you win or else you'd never talk to me," Steven replied. I laughed loudly, climbing faster. I reached the top first, heaving the top half of my body over. As I did I saw two forms approaching in the distance but didn't really pay much attention to them. While pulling one leg over the edge I felt Steven grab the other and pull me down. Screaming, I felt for a hard hand hold at the last moment, finding Steven trying to crest the cliff._

_ "Cheater!" I yelled, laughing as I pulled on him to slow him down. We pulled ourselves onto flat ground at the same time, both rolling onto our backs exhausted._

_ "It's a tie," Steven said, gasping for air._

_ "You cheated!"_

_ "So-," he started, his words turning into a surprised yell as he was abruptly pulled back. Gasping, I rolled over to see who had grabbed him only to see a familiar face right before me._

_ "Dad?" I asked, confused._

_ "Aurelia, are you okay?" he asked, clear eyes concerned._

_ "Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing he-Hey! Let him go!" I yelled, bursting to my feet and towards _him. He _was holding Steven up by his shirt, dark eyes furious. "Release him!"_

_ "He injured you," the Vulcan said flatly._

_ "No he didn't."_

_ "Your leg is bleeding." Looking down I realized it was. I hadn't even felt it. "He also made you scream."_

_ "I don't care, put him down now!" Dark eyes turned to look at me, no doubt analyzing how serious I was. Without looking back at Steven he dropped him flat on the ground. Glaring at my former tutor I walked past him, pulling Steven onto his feet._

_ "You okay?" I asked._

_ "Yeah, fine."_

_ "Aurelia, what were you doing?" my dad asked._

_ "Rock climbing," I spat, turning my glare on him. "Try and control your first officer, he was about to throw my friend off the cliff."_

_ "I believed you to be in danger and him to be the cause of it," the Vulcan said, his eyes having not left me._

_ "Well, I wasn't," I told him through clenched teeth. "Come on, Steven," I said, grabbing Steven's hand and pulling him along behind me._

_ "Aurelia, wait," my dad called but I ignored him as I stormed off. Through the bond I had closed long ago I felt _his_ anger but right now it only fed my own. _

Back in reality I now felt determination and concern through another bond. Spock had no doubt felt my fear and now he was following me.

Pulling myself over onto the ledge I quickly took in my surroundings, looking for a possible escape. I was smaller than the le matya but it was much more agile. Staying out of its reach was top priority as contact with its talons or teeth would poison me and that would lead to death one way or another. There was no good coverage down low but looking up I found more possible ledges and more possible escapes. All sounds of struggle had ceased below and know I heard the scratching of claws on stone as the beast climbed back up the wall, most likely with its recent kill. Running to my left, away from where the dust showed the le matya had come from, I gripped the wall and started my climb again, this time slower as there were barely enough stone to hold onto, the surface made smooth by wind likely. Halfway to the next landing, I glanced back to see one unrecognizable body at the top of the ledge, the cat-like beast having returned down for the second. I couldn't risk the thought that I was safe simply because it was preoccupied. Le matya were smart and it was very likely that it would follow me after securing its current food.

Once on the landing I found little more than just enough to room to stand on but more importantly, I found the le matya had turned its attention to me and was emitting a low rumbling from its chest as its rump raised in the air, tail swinging back and forth. Turning and running along the thin ledge, I let out a small cry when the beast jumped for me, yowling as it slid down the smooth stone. It was luck on my side, but not for long. Again, I began pulling myself up, arms beginning to ache. Although I was familiar with the motions I apparently wasn't quite ready to do this activity for long periods of times. Right now, though, I had to push through that as below the le matya had sunk its claws into the rock and was crawling up towards me. The next ledge led to a crevice in the wall, a thin one about as narrow as my shoulders, too narrow for the creature to follow me. Running into it I didn't get far before I felt a claw catch on my braid, tugging my head back before the woven strands unraveled against the strain. Stumbling, I turned to see yellow eyes peering in at me, sharp teeth dripping with deadly saliva and blood that shone in the minimal light. The claw struck out again and I fell back only to find it a few inches shy of my face. Quickly pulling the rest of my body out of its reach I grabbed for the phaser on my belt, aiming and firing at the le matya. A cry of pain brought pebbles clattering down the crevice as the cat shook its head in pain, the phaser having taken out one of its eyes by the looks of it is green blood dripped down into the dirt. When it swung again I gasped, dropping the phaser within the paws reach put keeping my hand well past it. Now I was defenseless but that creature was injured and for now I was a safe distance away.

Using the stone walls around me, I pulled myself to my feet and began walking backwards through the crevice, keeping my eyes on the predator as my breathing shook, tears burning at my eyes. My body was afraid but I had to convince myself to stay calm. Calm was what I needed right now. When my back met something sharp I scream in fear, quickly whirling around, half expecting to see another le matya only to find a sharp rock wall that the crevice ended into. Looking back, the echo of my scream went all the way to the cat still watching me, its rumbling growl low enough to be felt in my own chest. Turning my back from it, I forced myself to climb yet again, praying it couldn't follow me. About twenty feet up I found a ledge wide enough for me to lay on and about fifteen feet deep. I crawled to the back, shaking too much to stand, a collapsed leaning against the wall, knees pulled up to my chest. Here it was dark and cramped, somewhere a le matya wouldn't come, or at least that what I hoped. Putting down my head I tried to calm myself, closing my eyes and trying to think of anything but the beast lurking outside, trying to find a way to come and kill me.

* * *

Jim and Dr. McCoy struggled with the climb but once they had followed me onto the ledge they were met with an unwelcome side. Blood had soaked the ground and following a series of tracks and more blood to the right undoubtedly would lead to the bodies. Through the bond, however, Aurelia's fear still held strong. To the left I found more tracks and after kneeling to inspect them I found they were smaller than a man's, definitely Aurelia's. Unfortunately, clawed paws followed and the scratches on the wall showed a similar story.

"She went this way," I told Jim and Dr. McCoy.

"We should call for reinforcements," Dr. McCoy said, "Or at least send Jim back. We can't have both the Captain and First Officer here if something is killing us."

"You may send Jim back, but it would be pointless to call for reinforcements," I said, pulling my phaser out and switching it off of stun before replacing it. "The tracks show that whatever followed Aurelia has yet to return so it should be safe to recover the bodies."

"There could be more than one," Jim said.

"The tracks resemble that of a le matya, a cat-like creature formerly found on Vulcan. Since this planet appears similar it is possible that it is a cousin of the le matya from Vulcan. There was once a project to move all le matya to uninhabited planets in hope they could live peacefully by themselves and bring no one harm but it proved pointless. This beast may be a left over from such a project. They tend to be solitary creatures, however, so it should be safe to assume there is only one in the area," I said.

"They were that dangerous on Vulcan?" Jim asked.

"Their saliva is poisonous and has no antidote. It was logical at the time to find a way to avoid them without killing off an entire species in the process."

"Why don't we just have Scotty beam her out, if she's still alive that is," Dr. McCoy proposed. As I went to respond a scream echoed from somewhere above us, Aurelia's scream.

"Spock, you go, we'll look for the bodies," Jim ordered. With a short nod, I turned to the rock face and began climbing. This planet was truly not that different from my own, especially with such rock formations. I had spent some time climbing for physical well-being on Vulcan, enough to be familiar with the motions and confident in my abilities. As I climbed higher I heard a low growling, a sound I recognized from my childhood. Slowly pulling myself up, I found a crouched, cat-like beast staring into a thin crevice where Aurelia's footsteps led to. Reaching for my phaser, I took aimed it at the le matya's left, hind leg before firing. It yowled, immediately turning its attention to me and growling as it found a new prey. Now I could see its right eye was bloody, a recent injury as it still oozed green blood, another sign that it was related to the same species as those of Vulcan. When it crouched to launch itself at me, I dropped down onto the narrow ledge below, its claws missing me as it fell back to the original landing. Despite its attempts to flip itself over, the beast landed on its side with a loud thud. Before it could climb to its feet I shot at its remaining eye, a pained cry resulting when the target was met. Jim and McCoy had appeared from the trail to the right to see what the noise was about and had gone about firing at the creature, now much less of a threat since it was blind. Unable to defend itself, it tried running only to slam itself into a wall of rock. Another well aimed shot at the base of its neck severed the animal's spinal cord and left it to collapse into a lifeless heap.

"Spock! Are you okay?" Jim called up.

"Yes. I am going to follow Aurelia's tracks," I told him, replacing my phaser into my belt and once more climbing up. When I came to the narrow crevice I had to maneuver it sideways, my shoulders too broad for me to walk straight. Just inside lay a phaser and a disturbance in the dirt that showed Aurelia must have fallen. Other than a few loose strands of blond hair there were no signs that she was injured. Picking up the forgotten phaser I continued through the cramped crevice until I came to a wall where her only option would have been to climb up. Progress was slow in such a small space but I began scaling the rock until I found myself cresting the edge to another landing, one that held what I had been searching for. Icy eyes shot open from the far end of the ledge, tears brimming their wide edges.

"Spock!" Aurelia cried out in relief, standing as I pulled myself over the ledge. Once I was on my feet I reached out and pulled her close to me, only believing she was safe once I felt her small form in my arms. "The le matya, it-."

"I know. Jim and Dr. McCoy are beaming up to the ship with the bodies," I told her, taking a moment to relish in the un-Vulcan emotions and actions I was showing. "Are you well?" I asked, stepping back to examine her for any harm.

"Yes, I'm fine, just really freaked out," she admitted.

"All is well now. Scotty will soon beam us up to the Enterprise and you may rest," I said, slowly suppressing my emotions.

"I'm too worked up, I don't think it's possible for me to rest," she said, watching her hands as she clenched and unclenched them.

"If you wish we may spar once on the ship to help release the adrenaline from your system," I suggested.

"I think that would help. Thank you."

* * *

Quickie update for my amazing reviewers! I love reading your comments and am exceedingly grateful for all of your support. I honestly never expected anything like this when I started out on fanfiction and seeing it just makes me more excited to pursue writing on my own.

I'm not sure if any of you know, but a few days ago was the start of Nanowrimo (Nation Novel Writing Month). Basically, if in the month of November you write 50,000 words they print your book for free. On November first, my independent plot wheels started spinning on warp speed and now I am cranking out an obscene amount of words a day on a completely new story. Just keep in mind that while I am updating this, I also have college and Nanowrimo under my belt so I apologize in advance if updates are a little slow but, so far, I'd say they're pretty quick. haha.

Please review as I love to hear what you have to say!


	8. Chapter 8

With a grunt I pinned Spock's hands above his head, straddling his waist with a leg on each side. My chest heaved for oxygen, sweat sticking to my skin and making it slick. Hair had fallen loose from my tie long ago, hanging around my face as well as Spock's. While I was flushed red, the half Vulcan beneath me was barely winded. His movements were much more controlled than my own frantic gestures. Spock's dark eyes were locked on mine, the glint in them making my stomach twist. His sudden movement left me gasping, Spock rolling us over so that he was hovering above me, face merely inches away. His body felt heavy against mine, easily keeping me down while I squirmed beneath him. Any attempt I made to flip us failed as Spock's strength was too much for me to overtake. Giving a frustrated sigh, I threw my head back, staring up at Spock.

"I win," Spock said, not even sounding winded.

"I can tell," I gasped, trying to reach up and brush some hair out of my face only to find my wrists still captured by his hands. "You can release me now." Spock hesitated for a moment before letting go of my hands and standing from the spar mat while I tried to regain my breathing capabilities.

"Sparring for an hour and seven minutes is remarkable for a human female," he said, taking a drink from his water bottle.

"Thanks. I do my best to be remarkable. Were you even trying?" I asked, heaving myself into a sitting position.

"At times near the end, when your movements became frantic, I held back purposefully but most of the spar it was necessary for me to pay close attention to your actions," Spock admitted.

"I'm exhausted," I sighed, pulling myself to my feet before wandering over to the bench. I raked a towel over my face to clear it of sweat before taking large gulps of water from my own bottle.

"Your stamina already surpasses that of an average, human female. May I suggest that you rest and I can attempt to disband your mental shield once more?" Sliding to the ground I nodded, closing my eyes as I waited for him to begin the mind meld. His three warm fingers touched my face and I felt his presence within me. He got to work immediately, prying at the mental block that kept him out. After his first attempt to bring down my shield he had failed to make any further progress. The warmth of his presence relaxed me and I found my own eager to greet him, caressing his even. Blushing, I reined back my own subconscious before I could embarrass myself further. I felt Spock picking and pulling at my shield to no avail. Through the bond I could feel his frustration and puzzlement. He pulled out of my mind and I opened my eyes to find his slanted brows furrowed.

"It would seem that I am incapable of furthering any progress on disbanding your mental shield," Spock, sitting cross legged in front of me, said.

"Yeah, it does."

"If you would be willing, perhaps later we can have our evening meal in my quarters and I may continue attempting to make progress on it," he offered, he expression completely stoic as he spoke. One corner of my mouth curled up into a smile as I listened to him.

"Did you just ask me to dinner?"

"Is that your acceptance of my proposal?" I laughed, shaking my head as I smiled. "No, then?"

"No, I mean yes, I mean…wait," I said, finishing my light laughter. "I'd love to come for dinner in your quarters, Spock," I finally managed.

"Very well. I shall have a meal prepared at 1900 hours. Will your shift be done by then?" he asked.

"Yes, I will see you then."

* * *

"It's been a long time since I've had plomeek soup," Aurelia said as she settled down on the couch in my quarters, grabbing a cushion to hug to her chest.

"I hope it was not unsatisfactory," I called out from the small kitchen my quarters offered, disposing of the used plates in the sink to be washed after Aurelia left for the night.

"Oh no, it was rather pleasant, actually. I find I've missed it," she told me with a smile as I approached and joined her on the other end of the sofa that I rarely used by myself.

"It pleases me that you enjoyed our meal," I said, giving a small nod as my lips gave a small uplift in the corners. "Shall I proceed with a mind meld or would you rather wait."

"You may proceed," Aurelia sighed, fidgeting into the couch until she found a comfortable spot. Moving slightly closer, I met her meld points and began slowly sifting through what minimal progress I had made. So far I had opened up the shield enough to release Aurelia's essences and as of yet I'd succeeded in little more than chipping away minuscule pieces of the great barrier. While I worked, Aurelia's thoughts warmly surrounded me as she reviewed the tasks that she would have to complete tomorrow, estimating the amount of time it would take to complete each individual task while including an appropriate addition of time for error before moving on to the next.

Just as I was about to withdraw form Aurelia's mind a memory flashed by, overwhelming me.

_I was furious, my long, blonde hair streaming out behind me as I stomped through the hall to my room at the Academy, _He_ had no right to storm back into my life and threaten Steven like he had. Punching my code into the panel beside my dorm I walked in quickly after the door hissed open. Mumbling to myself, I stomped to my bathroom, staring back at my reflection. It had been years since he'd seen me and I was no longer that girl. My body was tall now, my face more angular, my skin tan from the sun, my hair…my hair was the same. It was long and blonde. While I loved the color and lacked the drive to change it I could change the length. After a few moments of searching I found a pair of scissors and gathered my hair up in one hand, reaching back to slice with the other. The first chunk of hair fell with a soft pat on the ground, quickly followed by others. It wasn't until after I had finished chopping at my strands that I realized I was whimpering._

_ I was furious with _him_ but at the same time I longed for _him_. I was fighting the impossible but while my heart cried for me to go to him my head screamed for me to be independent. My subconscious was fighting to undo the mental shield I had blocking him from our bond but I refused. I wouldn't let him see me vulnerable like this. I didn't need him…I didn't…really…_

_ Curling into a ball on my floor I sobbed, feeling myself tear apart inside. _

Finally managing to pull my hand away from Aurelia's meld points I gave a very un-Vulcan choke, blinking tears from my eyes. Aurelia's emotions were still overwhelming me, both her past fury and mental agony. Fighting off a strong mental bond was nearly impossible, even more so for a human. Looking at the young woman before me I saw her watching me concerned and…fearful? We were both silent for a few moments, myself struggling to regain my usual composition.

"Your hair…you cut it," I managed to finally say while keeping my voice moderately level.

"Yes, I did," Aurelia confirmed pointlessly.

"You were very…upset about something involving a particular male," I added. Aurelia nodded, looking down.

"Yes, my former mate had threatened a close friend of mine without reason. I was angry and ended up cutting my hair as a way to separate myself from him," she explained.

"What did he do?"

"He stormed into my life after a long period of absence and choked my friend after he thought he had injured me purposefully. I was none too pleased with his actions," Aurelia said, meeting my eyes once more. "I avoided him for two weeks after that incident. Our next meeting was no better."

"Will you show me?" I asked. Aurelia seemed to ponder the idea for a moment before deciding.

"I can try and show you some," she told me, allowing my fingers to return to her meld points. For a moment there was nothing and then a memory started to slowly form.

_ Steven and I stumbled out of the elevator, clinging to each other as we gave great barks of laughter. I started wheezing, unable to breathe as Steven snorted, earning a new peel of hysterical giggles. We'd both been at the local club Galaxy with a few classmates and had been reliving our awesome, more like pathetic, dance moves. We were also a tad drunk but I was sure that it wasn't effecting us too much._

_ "My robot is nowhere _near_ as bad as your sprinkler," Steven accused as we slumped against the wall. I feigned horror and gasped._

_ "The sprinkler is a _classic_! The robot is just for those not cool enough to do anything else," I shot back._

_ "How is the robot not cool!?" Steven yelled._

_ "It's jerky!"_

_ "You did the _sprinkler_."_

_ "Yeah, well…you…uh…suck," I spat before we both started laughing once more._

_ "You have hair in your face," Steven said, reaching up to brush the stray lock behind my ear. We both stared at each other quietly for a moment, Steven's hand remaining on my face, before we started leaning together. Our faces grew closer and I could feel his breath on my face before it vanished suddenly, accompanied by a grunt. Opening my eyes I gasped, finding Steven on the ground and cradling his face. In front of my stood a tall man, presumably the one who had hit Steven. It took a moment for me to recognize the presence of the Vulcan before me._

_ "Hey!" I slurred, "what do you think you're doing!" The man turned towards me, his angular face coming into view-_

The memory faded abruptly and Aurelia's mental shield forced me out, leaving me confused.

"Your previous mate took every precaution to conceal his identity, did he not?" I asked, blinking my eyes until they focused.

"Yes, he was a very important person and did not wish for someone to use me to get to him. By making my mental shield he was protecting us both."

"I have encountered very few full blooded Vulcans capable of such intricate mind shields. Perhaps I can contact one of them to see what may enable its deconstruction," I suggested. The uncomfortable look that crossed Aurelia's face had me adding, "Unless you would prefer I didn't."

"I would rather not have what's going on in my head out there for some scientists to pick apart," she admitted quietly.

"Very well, I will continue on my own," I decided, nodding my head as a way of confirming it and earning a smile from my bondmate.

"Thank you, Spock," she said before sighing and stretching, glancing at the clock on the wall with her clear blue eyes. "It's about time I head back to my own chambers."

"I will escort you," I said, standing and offering my hand for her to take to stand. The gesture earned me another smile as Aurelia grasped my hand, my longer fingers curling around her delicate hand and she pulled herself up and replaced the cushion to its proper place.

"It is unnecessary but I would welcome the company on the walk back," she told me as we made our way to the door of my quarters, our hands falling apart. "We should do this again."

"Mind melds? We do them regularly."

"Dinner, Spock," she said with a light laughter. "Perhaps next time I can cook, as long as you'll let me use your kitchen of course."

"I believe such an activity would be manageable. When would you like to do so?" I asked.

"Let's wait a few days and decide."

"Very well."

* * *

You are all amazing! I am so fortunate to have such kind and reviewers as well as others who take the time to read this without commenting. You all encourage me to keep on writing and for that I thank you. Other than this, no one has ever read what I've written despite the numerous stories I have going on.

I hope you enjoy the chapter and, GOOD NEWS! Chapter Nine is nearly done, 3/4 of the way finished actually. Expect it later tonight!

Please take the extra time to review and let me know how you feel about the story and if you have any recommendations or things that you would like to see in future chapters. I am always open to suggestions and love reading your comments!


	9. Chapter 9

Aurelia was having a nightmare. Through our bond I had received flashes of it during my meditation. Her fear was so potent that I almost thought it to be my own until I saw visions of a red desert and blood on feminine hands. At first I had attempted to soothe her through our bond but upon its failure I rose to my feet and briskly walked to her room, not even putting out my incense. Once arriving at her room I used the override code to enter, finding her twisting and thrashing amongst her bed covers. I sat beside her, reaching out to comfort her with my touch. She responded immediately, a gasp tearing from her lips as she opened her eyes, their icy depths still staring off into her nightmare.

"Spock," she cried, grasping my hand and clinging to it. It was then that I sensed this was more than a mere nightmare. Moving closer to her, she sat up and buried her face into my chest, weeping. "Oh god."

"What is it, Aurelia?" I asked, not hesitating to wrap my arms around her despite her barely clad form. Our skin touched and the bond fizzled to life, electricity shooting through me from where we met. "Tell me," I urged.

"I-…I…you…blood," she gasped before sobs overwhelmed her ability to speak.

"Tell me, t'hy'la," I said softly. The use of the Vulcan word calmed her down but not nearly enough. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish's, unable to speak. Instead I formed a mind meld with her, entering her dreams and the horrors they held. I recognized the Vulcan landscape immediately, the achingly familiar cliffs of my home land. The second sight my eyes landed on were the two forms on the ground before me. Both wore Vulcan clothing, a man and woman, but while I could see Vulcan ears on the male I saw Aurelia's familiar blond waves tied back into a braid. She was collapsed on top of the male, whose face I could not see, and sobbing with such agony I found it illogical to assume this was anything but a memory. Aurelia let out a wail, curling herself around the fallen form before her, clutching his tunic with white knuckles.

"Come back!" she cried. "You can't go. You promised. Come back!" Approaching her slowly I recognized le matya prints in the red dirt as well as the green blood that mixed with it. Aurelia's hands were covered in green blood as well as her corset dress but I noticed no human blood. Once behind Aurelia I saw the Vulcan's face, shocked to see it was my own. After only a moment of confusion I decided that this must be the moment she lost her mate and her mind had replaced him with myself, making her relive the horror anew.

"Spock, please! You can't leave, you promised," she whimpered.

"Aurelia," I said softly, catching her attention. Her head shot up, quickly finding me with puffy, bloodshot eyes. Tears ran along her cheeks, mixing with dirt and smears of green blood.

"Spock," she said, sounding strangled and looking back and forth between myself and the similar form on the ground. "I…I don't understand."

"This is a dream," I told her. Aurelia shook her head violently, strands of hair flying loose from her braid.

"No. This happened. You…you died," she said, her hands fisting in the dead Spock's tunic. "The le matya…"

"This did not happen to me. It happened to your other mate," I told her.

"What other mate?" she asked, confused. "No, we were on Vulcan. I came after you when you took a sudden leave only to realize you were in Pon Farr. When you wouldn't let me help you I wandered off and-."

"Vulcan is no more," I interrupted. "Nero destroyed it." The young woman stared at me, dread setting into her icy eyes as well as fear.

"He did," she whispered, looking down horrified. "He destroyed it and then…then I came."

"We met a little more than a year after Vulcan's end," I confirmed.

"Oh god," she cried, covering her face with her bloody hands. "I left him and got the timing wrong. It's been so long. The bond…he can't feel it…it's too weak."

"Who did you leave?" I asked, confused.

"You."

"But I am here," I said, still puzzled.

"And Vulcan isn't," Aurelia whispered.

"No, it isn't."

"Vulcan is still there," she said to herself.

"T'hy'la," I said softly, kneeling beside her, "you are confused. I need you to wake up." Aurelia looked up at me, her pale eyes wide.

"You need me?" she asked.

"Yes, I do."

"You needed me then to," she mumbled, the desert fading to reveal a cave often used during Pon Farr. I could see myself meditating, a frustrated Aurelia standing behind me. "You wouldn't let me help you. You said I was too young. I stormed off but got lost." The cave disappeared to show Aurelia wandering around the desert. A le matya appeared suddenly, chasing Aurelia. She tripped from her skirt and as the ferocious beast attacked I appeared, taking the blow. "You saved me. We were on Vulcan."

"Vulcan is no more," I told her.

"Right," she breathed, the desert fading to reveal outer space and the image of Vulcan caving in on itself. "But…it isn't."

"T'hy'la, you must wake up, you are confused," I said. She nodded, biting her lip. Everything began to fade and as I opened my eyes I found her curled in my arms, her body shuddering from her dream. "All is well, you are safe, Aurelia," She sniffed as her tears came to an end but through our bond I could feel her sorrow and fear.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"There is no reason to apologize, the dream was not your fault," I told her, rubbing my hand up and down her back in an attempt to calm her. "Your mate died in a very unfortunate way."

"He didn't die," she said.

"Le matya poison is fatal."

"I had to have given him an antidote in enough time to save him but it took a few moments to work."

"There is no cure for le matya poison," I told her. Aurelia stiffened before pulling away slightly, not meeting my eyes.

"The le matya did not kill him," she repeated, pressing a hand to her forehead before mumbling, "I think."

"You need to rest, t'hy'la, you are exhausted," I said, moving to stand from her bed.

"No!" she cried out, gut wrenching fear bursting through our bond. "Stay. Just for a little bit. I…I don't want to be alone." Looking down at Aurelia I could feel that she wished me to stay for more reasons than her fear of bad dreams. She wanted to keep me close so that she would be sure her mate was safe. Nodding, I moved closer once more, insisting Aurelia at least lay down. I rested my head beside hers on the pillow, deciding the logical way to sooth her worry of my being was to remain in her sight. My internal clock informed me that it took her six minutes and twenty point two four seconds to begin calm down. She went from having her eyes frantically look me over to staring at my shirt, her hands playing with the soft fabric.

"Spock," she said softly, "are you disappointed I am your t'hy'la?" I blinked away my shock, raising my brows.

"Why would you ask such a think?" I questioned.

"Previously you-…my former mate was reluctant to touch me and assist him during his Pon Farr. When I was young he would give me Vulcan kisses but he only felt affection for me. As I grew older he stopped and even when I asked he refused," Aurelia told me. "I was simply wondering if you were just as reluctant towards our bond." I lay in silence for a few moments, thinking over what she had said. To imagine a Vulcan denying his bonded mate anything was…difficult. Bonded mates often did things for each other without being asked unless it was deemed illogical.

"I find it illogical to believe it possible for you to be my t'hy'la and be disappointed. A t'hy'la suggests they are one's perfect match and therefore impossible to be disappointed in," I told her, feeling my answer was perfectly logical.

"I understand that it is logical, Spock, but how do you _feel_. Are your emotions disappointed?" she asked. After only five point four two seconds of thought I reached for Aurelia's hand, my forefinger and middle finger together. Our fingers touched lightly and Aurelia gasped at the sudden onslaught of feelings. Affection, respect, longing, worry, pride, and adoration were only a few emotions that Aurelia inspired within me. There was not a hint of disappointment among them because I was not disappointed in my t'hy'la, ever. She was very much a mystery to me still but I trusted her with all of my Vulcan mind, human heart, and life. Aurelia's eyes grew wet with tears but I knew they were happy tears. A smile graced her lips and I felt warmth grow in my stomach.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

* * *

Shortest chapter so far. Honestly, I didn't add anything since I said it was 3/4 of the way done. Usually I aim for at least 2,000 words but this one just wanted to stand on its own. Unlike all the other chapters this is all original stuff, no add ins really.

When I write, I write in excerpts, putting down on paper certain events I want to happen that will lead to an eventual outcome before filling in all the middle parts. For instance, on the away mission I only had Spock's point of view on when he first feels Aurelia's fear to when he first climbs and then when he finds her. Everything else was filled in as deemed necessary. Sometimes when I look back on my work I can see how my style has changed from when I first wrote this fanfic in my notebook between classes to what my writing has evolved into now. This entire chapter is word for word out of my notebook though, with the exception of a single line I added to.

Poor confused Aurelia. You got to admit, losing a bondmate and then getting another would knock your thoughts out of balance, right? I remember writing this and feeling bad for putting her in such a bad situation but then really enjoying writing about someone who felt as if their whole world was falling apart. It was fun.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, although shorter than normal, and look forward to hearing what you thought about it! Please leave a review!


	10. Chapter 10

"Aurelia, what brings your beautiful face to the bridge today?" Kirk asked as the doors of the turbo lift hissed shut. At the sound of my t'hy'la's name I looked up from my station. There by the turbo lift stood Aurelia in her red, Star Fleet uniform dress with her long blond hair tied into a ponytail.

"Nyota is feeling ill, Captain, and asked me to cover her shift. I intend to unless you disagree," she said, approaching Jim's chair.

"I have no problem as long as Scotty doesn't need you. Get to work, Commander Tanner," he ordered. Aurelia nodded, moving over to the communications station and placing on a head set, flashing me a quick smile before focusing on her work. The day progressed uneventfully, hourly updates being made on anything that appeared on our scans and was not unusual enough to require immediate attention. Even Jim became bored, taking to walking up behind members of the crew and running a loose string he had pulled from his sleeve along their exposed necks. Every once in a while they would itch at their neck and he would turn red trying not to laugh until he returned to torturing them. As he approached me, I simply turned and sent him a dead stare as he feigned intense interest in my scans.

"Captain Kirk," Aurelia called from across the bridge, gaining both of our attentions. "We have an incoming call from Starfleet headquarters."

"Connect the call," Jim said, walking calmly, but quickly, to his seat. By the time Aurelia had finished he was sitting in a relaxed pose, chin resting on his fist as though he was contemplating something of importance. As Captain Pike appeared on the screen, Jim appeared surprised before smiling.

"Captain Pike, what a pleasure," Jim said, standing from his seat.

"It's nice to see you too, Kirk," he said, smiling proudly at the younger before him.

"How is there leg doing? Are you off that cane yet?" Jim asked.

"No, not yet. As much as I would like to chat, this is a business call, Captain Kirk," Pike reminded him. Jim dismissed it with a wave.

"Minor technicality but alright. What's the orders from headquarters?" he asked.

"The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise is requested on New Vulcan. How far out are you?" Bright blue eyes flickered to Sulu who flashed a number of fingers before Jim cleared his throat.

"Six days, sir."

"Good. Change your course. We are not sure of the exact reasons for this request but as New Vulcan is still a budding colony we are always willing to help."

"Any other orders, Captain?"

"Yeah, don't ruin the ship." With a shared nod, the call ended and Jim began speaking with Sulu about the change of course. We all returned to our duties, my focus once more on my scans.

An uneasy feeling settled into my stomach shortly after the hail from Admiral Pike ordering us to New Vulcan. Looking over at Aurelia I found she was hiding the emotion well, appearing completely normal. When we were both relieved from our shifts I was sure we would be the only two in the turbo lift and my logic proved correct. As the door slid shut I reached over and laid my hand on her shoulder, startling her from her thoughts.

"What worries you about New Vulcan?" I asked, folding my hands behind my back.

"Oh, nothing," she lied, flashing me a weak smile.

"You are lying," I said softly. "Why?"

"It's just…I'm worried about who might be there," Aurelia admitted. I nodded, accepting her answer.

"It is logical for a human previously mated to a Vulcan to be nervous since you were most likely not accepted before," I deduced.

"Yeah," she said, drawing out the word.

"Worry not, t'hy'la, I will not allow for any Vulcan to make you uncomfortable," I assured her. Aurelia gave me a weary smile, her unsettling emotion lifting slightly. Lifting up two fingers, I held them before Aurelia. Her icy eyes stared at them confused before recognition set in and she raised two fingers to meet mine. Watching as her eyes slid closed I allowed one corner of my lips to curl up as our Vulcan kiss calmed her. All too soon we pulled away as the turbo lift opened to my floor.

"Would you delight me and share an evening meal in my quarters?" I asked, holding a hand out in the direction of my rooms. Aurelia's smile warmed me.

"I'd love to Spock."

* * *

"My point," I told Sulu with a wide smile as my fencing sword poked into his stomach. With a sigh, he pulled off his mask, his black hair ruffled.

"I don't get it, it's like you're reading my mind," he murmured, settling down his sword. Shrugging, I removed my own mask.

"I had a really good teacher as a child," I told him.

"Hey, Spock," Sulu greeted as he stripped off his fencing suit to reveal his black workout clothes that clung tight to his body. Looking up, sure enough, I found the half Vulcan entering the gym with his usual t-shirt and pants.

"Hello, Mr. Hikaru. I assume you are finished with your exercise?" Spock asked, raising his brow.

"Yeah, Auri here whooped my butt." Spock stared. "Um…Commander Tanner defeated me in fencing." Dark eyes turned to me with a barely noticeable glint of curiosity.

"I was not aware you fenced." Smiling coyly, I lowered into a familiar stance with my free hand behind my back and my sword raised.

"En garde," I said, meaning it as a joke but as Sulu left Spock picked up his sword and took up a stance before me. The tall man surprised me, lunging forward and thrusting his sword forward. Parrying his attack, I feinted right before lunging right. Just as my tip went to make contact with Spock he recovered and lunged again. After multiple series of lunges, parries, and feints I realized just how light on his feet he was. It was becoming more and more apparent that this match would be won by who had the most stamina and I could only hold a Vulcan off so long. There was one trick on my side, though. Being unpredictable. Vulcans played by the rules. I was far from Vulcan.

Sprinting forward, I shocked Spock and ran my body into his in hopes of knocking him off balance. Corps-a-corps was usually an illegal attack where physical contact between two opponents was made, preventing any use of the sword. My plan backfired, however, as Spock spun me around and pushed me up against the gym wall. He grabbed my sword hand and forced me to loosen my grip, dropping my blade. Breathing heavily, I started noticing just how close Spock and I were. Our chests were pressed up against each other and our legs entwined, my wrists held by my head in his large hands.

"You cheated," he said quietly, his dark eyes staring straight at me.

"We never established rules, so I really wasn't," I told him, finding myself thinking of how firm his chest was.

"The rules were assumed," Spock said, his voice lower than I'd ever heard It be before.

"You should never assume anything with me," I breathed, feeling his index and middle fingers inch up my palm. I gasped when they reached my tips, my eyes fluttering shut as Spock's emotions overwhelmed me. Vulcan's felt much more than humans and the fact that their emotions were hidden only made them more potent. Spock's desire for me was a very commanding emotion during this Vulcan kiss. It wasn't just a physical desire but also his Vulcan side wanting to claim me as his mate, his t'hy'la. This shocked me. His normally logical mind held an animalistic side that I was unaccustomed to. Spock rested his forehead against mine, stunning me once more with the intimate Vulcan gesture. Our breathing escalated together as we surrounded each other with our emotions. "Spock," I whispered, half opening my eyes. There was a low rumble in his chest, almost a growl, as he too opened his eyes, dark irises shining. I'm not sure whether Spock tilted his chin up or I did but either way our lips met, opening our minds even further. Whimpering from the waves of emotions I was feeling from Spock, I fisted my hands in his shirt, desperate to be closer. Passion like none I had ever known coursed through my veins as Spock pressed harder against me, his hands roaming my body.

Abruptly, Spock pulled away, inhaling sharply as I felt him trying to pull up his stoic guise again. "I…I apologize, Aurelia," he said quickly, his brows furrowing, "it appears my emotions are more capable of overtaking my logic at the moment."

"Don't be sorry," I breathed, my lips curling up in a gleeful smile. "I enjoyed it."

* * *

I am really sorry for my long absence! Hopefully the little bit at the end makes up for it haha.

So, I did Nanowrimo. Turned out a really good story, SciFi genre, and am really proud of it though I keep playing with it from time to time because while I did Nanowrimo I didn't actually do it on the website. It was more of a personal challenge. Also, I used it as a final project in one of my college classes. After it, my creativity was dead. I kept trying to work on this for you guys but nothing was happening. Then finals came, then Christmas, and now I'm waiting for break to end (I don't go back until the end of January). As a result of this, I'm helping out at the office my family works at. Turns out, punching an endless amount of numbers into a keypad and listening to pandora does wonders for writer's block! I am back and excited and even working on another fanfic and a personal story or two. For anyone reading Guardian, sorry, I haven't really touched it. This new one is about Loki, from Marvel's Thor and The Avengers. I have kind of fallen in love with him. Hmm, Tom Hiddleston. Yummy.

Anyway! I'm back! Thanks for waiting. Expect the next update soon!


	11. Chapter 11

The next day at the bridge was very uneventful as I filled in for Uhura once more. After hours of sifting through static for any trace of a signal I was thoroughly bored out of my mind. My thoughts began to wander and it was no surprise that they naturally focused on Spock. He had been distant from me since last night, after our kiss really. At first I had accepted it, giddy with the thought that I could manage to make him lose his Vulcan control for a moment and knowing full well that he was probably embarrassed by such a display. It wasn't until later when I started to find it odd that he was still obstructing our bond. Surely his embarrassment had passed after a few hours. This morning when I arrived at the bridge, however, I became concerned by such an action on his part. He had yet to arrive for his shift when I wandered in and now, nearly at its end, he had yet to show up or even notify anyone as to why he was absent. I had been hoping some sort of odd signal would pop up to preoccupy my time but now with nothing left to do I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him. Jim had kept silent about his first officer's absence but it was easy to tell by how often he was glancing at the empty science station that he was also curious as to why its chair was void. Checking on the bond I noticed half-heartedly that it was still blocked and sighed, flipping through different channels.

Whatever was bothering Spock had to be related to our kiss. He had never reacted this way about anything before and as that was the only thing different that had happened it was the only possible reason. Why would it upset him though? Sure, he was a Vulcan, but even Vulcans showed affection at times. Given that he was half human it was no surprise that he would be more expressive with his emotions. Surely he couldn't be disappointed with it. It was a great kiss and I had been in his head while it had happened so I know he enjoyed it just as much, if not more so than I did. Yes, he had been surprised but by now he would have come up with a logical explanation as to why it happened.

At the end of my shift I handed over the controls to another communications officer and stood, walking quickly towards the lift.

"Aurelia," Jim called out, halting my steps. Swinging my arms and turning on my heels, I looked at him expectantly with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Would you please find Commander Spock? He never turned up for his shift," he said.

"Of course, sir," I said, nodding. I kept it to myself that such an action had been my intention already. Leaving, I entered the lift and pressed Spock's level. Despite our bond being obscured I could still tell he was in his quarters at the moment. Tapping my foot as the lift traveled down I sighed impatiently. Once it opened I was walking, steps sure and arms swinging with purpose. Any more momentum and I would probably have been running. Coming up to Spock's door I knocked lightly at it, folding my arms as I waited for a reply. After moments of nothing I knocked again, tilting in my head to listen closely for any sign of footsteps. The third time I knocked harder and with no response I pressed the call button on the pad beside his door. After a few moments of ringing I let out a loud breath of agitation and moved to enter the override code. Technically, I shouldn't know the code to override the system of the first officer's quarters but during one of our mind melds I had accidentally seen in floating around in Spock's subconscious. The door slid open and I walked in, hesitating a few steps in when I noticed that his rooms were dark, all of the lights turned off. Focusing on the bond I was sure that he was here but why would the lights be off? Breathing deeply, I realized the scent of incense hung heavily in the air, so heavily that I coughed and waved my hand in front of my nose before settling for covering it. Moving forward, I scanned Spock's kitchen and then living room for any signs of him, turning to the bedroom when I found none. For a moment I considered knocking but waved it off knowing that if he hadn't answered his door he wasn't likely to answer to anything else. His room was hazy from the incense, its smoke burning my eyes. Glancing around, I easily spotted him sitting opposite of his bed, back to the window as he held his eyes closed in meditation. Three sticks of incense smoldered before him along with many candles inside of the room, the ashes of many previous sticks lying scattered on the floor.

"Spock?" I asked, slowly walking up to where he sat meditating. "Spock." When he didn't reply I dropped my hand from my nose and reached out carefully to touch his shoulder. His shirt was slightly damp from sweat, I noted, as his eyelids lifted sluggishly.

"Aurelia, what is wrong?" he asked, furrowing his brows at me in confusion.

"You never showed up for your shift at the bridge so the Captain sent me to find you," I told him, kneeling down. "Are you okay? You feel warm."

"I do not feel myself. Please alert Jim that I will be unable to report to my station for a number of days."

"Okay," I said nervously. "Can you tell me why?"

"I do not feel myself," he repeated. Pressing my lips together I nodded, taking in his haggard state.

"Why don't you feel yourself?" I asked slowly.

"For personal reasons, Aurelia. It is none of your concern," he told me. Despite it being said in a kind matter his words still hurt.

"Spock, I'm your t'hy'la. You can tell me what is bothering you," I assured him. "If you don't want me to tell Jim then I won't."

"I am fine, Aurelia. Once we reach New Vulcan I will be myself again," he said flatly, closing his eyes to meditate again.

"Well, is there at least anything I can get for you?" I asked him. "Food? Tea? More incense?"

"I am fine," he repeated.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I know." Staying beside him in silence for a few moments, I stood and slowly walked out of the room, glancing over my shoulder at him in concern. He didn't so much as look up at me while I left. Leaving his quarters, I found myself chewing my lip raw. Whatever was bothering Spock he wasn't going to tell me but that it was definitely something. Thinking logical, as he always did, he had realized something. What though?

Setting off to relay Spock's message to Jim, I started thinking through the same logical steps Spock would have after his behavior in the gym yesterday. Hopefully, I could figure out the source of his severe meditation through logic just as he had.

* * *

A few days later I stood with the others that were to be beamed down to the surface of New Vulcan first, Scotty and Jim on either side of me as the captain and chief mechanic shared playful banter back and forth. Scotty had requested I accompany the first group heading down and Jim had easily agreed. Honestly, I had pushed the Scot to ask in hopes that a certain half Vulcan would also be traveling down first. After the first time I had relayed Jim's news to him I had been unable to access his rooms again despite the override codes I had pounded into the key pad. As far as I knew, he had yet to leave his quarters, staying there even during meals.

I had spent every waking hour trying to figure out why he was suddenly shutting himself off from everything and had yet to decide on any specific reason. Any idea I came up with seemed to illogical for him. So far I had settled on him being sick in some way, that much had been obvious when I had caught him in a sweat with a high fever. I had yet to determine why he would stay away from med bay, though. Whatever it was couldn't be contagious or I would be ill as well. Other than an uneasiness in my stomach and mood swings that ranged from calm to furious to even aroused. I had taken into account that I may very well be going through PMS but I still tried to keep an open mind. No matter what Spock did to block our bond there was a chance he couldn't keep out everything.

"Spock, there you are," Jim called out, leaving Scotty and I as he moved over to clap his first officer on the back. I watched closely as he asked how he was, receiving short answers from the science officer that I couldn't quite hear. He appeared fine, his skin not appearing too sweaty and his eyes were focused but he seemed tense and distant. With the final member here, we all walked onto the teleport pad. Despite my attempt, I ended up nearly opposite of Spock, having to settle for staring at the back of his head as thousands of lights began to swirl around us.

Once the ship faded away and the surface of New Vulcan appeared the group separated, each heading off to perform their own task. Quickly, I excused myself from Scotty, keeping an eye on Spock to see him doing the same with Jim. Once away from the group I jogged to catch up with Spock whose longer legs and quicker than normal strides had carried him far ahead.

"Spock!" I called out, noticing how his shoulders suddenly tensed but that he ceased his steps none the less, turning to look at me. When I was closer I slowed down, running my eyes along him for a closer inspection. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I apologize if I worried you, Aurelia," he said curtly, giving a slight nod with his head.

"It's okay. So, um, where are you headed?" I asked, running a hand nervously through my hair as my gut began twisting again.

"I have business to handle but first I am going to verify where the crew will be residing while on New Vulcan," he told me.

"Oh, cool," I said. After a moment of uneasy silence he spoke again.

"Would you like to accompany me?" he asked somewhat stiffly.

"Yeah," I said quickly. "Uh, yes, sure, of course. Um…let's go then, shall we?" I said, quickly walking forward as I tried to settle the sudden jumpiness I felt.

"It is this way," Spock called out. Stopping mid-step I twisted on my heel, giving him an embarrassed smile before settling for walking by his side. As we walked, I found myself playing with my hair. In the heat I found myself agitated with its heavy weight on my neck and quickly twined it together in a rushed braid. "You are acting oddly," Spock mentioned. "Is it because you are nervous to be amongst Vulcans again?"

"What? Oh, yes," I said, chiding myself for having forgotten such an important fact. I had been so worried about Spock for that past few days that it had completely escaped my attention who may very well be on New Vulcan with us. Immediately, I started to scan the area around us, newly constructed buildings rising from the desert floor to tower above us. Not many Vulcans moved around but those that did were sure to notice the only two Starfleet officers walking amongst them, let alone the human girl. Now I was anxious for a whole other reason.

"Relax," Spock told me. "You will be perfectly fine." As we neared the building we would be staying at I trailed behind, watching the half Vulcan's stiff actions closely.

"I wish I could say the same," I whispered to myself before rushing to catch up.

* * *

I am SO sorry for my long absence! I don't intend for it to happen again.

God this chapter was a huge bugger! I kept getting stuck and just couldn't seem to get out of the rut I was in. I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter Twelve is already in the process of being written as well as the next chapters for my stories True Ties and The Stained Satin.

Thank you very much to everyone who has made this story a favorite or is following it. Reviews really motivated me to keep chipping away at this!

Thank you for reading!


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